Sunday, July 10, 2005

Why do new things always leave me conflicted?

I got a new job and I started Friday. This is really cool. I hated leaving my old job and I am a bitch if I don't have work during the day. I have been miserable and whiney for the last month because I didn't have a job. Now that I have one, I am freaking out because I'm the new girl. I never think that I am worthy of the credit that people give me. My boss doesn't seem worried that he is giving me four difficult cases of adults with diagnoses I have never worked with before. It should tell me something that other people have confidence in me. Somehow it usually fails to do anything but inspire dread and perfectionism. The sad things is that what usually messes me up the most is the fear of messing up. The boss has stated more than once that the people they have working at this place are awesome and somehow they think I fit in to this. One of these days I will learn that I really am not the worst social worker on the face of the planet...
...Probably right before I increase the number of hours in a day.

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