Today I realized that all of my conversations and the motivations behind all of my actions boils down to one of 4 things:
1."let me fix you"
2."love me"
3."fuck you"
4."AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHGLDEHURIUWEHDLIACKASDJFLIWY485H9B4Y5Q0NU232$$^#$%GCFA%ER&IAF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
It's almost Christmas, so I know everyone out there can guess what mode I'm in right now :)
I'm so pleasant.
and articulate.
And adorable.
(love me)
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
of masks and men... or something.
Paul Laurence Dunbar (1872-1906)
I was in the middle of the hallway deep in conversation with a volunteer who I had met once or twice before about Amanda Palmer in varying states of undress when I stepped out of myself for a moment and realized that I barely discuss this with close friends, much less random people. So the question for a long time has been why I would choose to speak with someone I really didn't know that well about something that has heretofore been a closely guarded secret. I rarely bring up people I'm attracted to and I generally intentionally skip over mentioning women unless I'm with a certain few people. So why was I in the middle of the hallway casually discussing how hot i thought BOTH of the Dresden dolls were?
Well, there's a lot of answers but the big one is this: Hiding is tiring and it mostly just hurts me. I'm beautiful Goddamnit: Creativity, compassion, bitchy Dramatic tendencies, secular humanism, Bi-curiosity, mistakes, extra 35 pounds and all. It's all beautiful. Keeping it in is a lot of work. Keeping it in is me telling myself it's wrong or that other people's definitions of beautiful matter more than mine. FUCK THEM. I'm so tired. I don't think I've said that enough: it hurts and I'm tired.
When I went to the gaming convention in may, it was instantly clear that no one cared about "masks" and you were free to be whoever you really were. I was really comfortable and just behaved however I wanted to in any given situation. Funny thing--that entire weekend, everytime I looked in the mirror, I was happy with what I saw, in an actual, physical sense. Normally, I see too much weight or too little weight or the one hair thats out of place or the fact that my jeans are too tight underneath the huge shirt that covers them up anyways; and it's never the same problem I see--most of the time it's like i'm looking at a new me with a new problem every day. For three whole days, I looked in the mirror and saw a pretty girl -- the same pretty girl--every day.
I cried the night before I had to go back to work because I knew that the ugly girl would come back, the mask would have to go back on and I would have to go back to hating certain things about myself. I was partially right. The girl in the mirror is about the same everyday-- not as pretty as she was that weekend, but not fatally flawed and incessantly morphing. I do hate certain things about myself but I think some of those things will take a much longer process to deal with than 3 weekend days and a few conversations. The mask is back on, but it's bothering me more and more. And more and more I find reasons to cut pieces off of it. Thank God, because it's starting to ruin my skin and warp my beautiful face.
I was in the hallway having that conversation about half-naked amanda palmer because I WANT THE MASK OFF. OFF. Sometimes the mask is needed just like a good pair of high heels. But just like the heels, it gets irritating and old after more than a couple of hours.
Why did I begin this long journey with taht one convesation with that particular person? I'm still not entirely sure how, maybe i noticed wear marks in his face, maybe it was all conjecture based on the fact that we both like a band with a fucked up sense of beauty, but somehow I knew he prefers to see faces and he doesn't care what they look like.
And Why am I downstairs at 1 in the morning typing on a blog when I have a loving husband upstairs in bed who all but orders me to put that mask in my back pocket as often as possible? Because I'm a moody, contemplative ass. Sorry Sweetie, I love you. And, Ironically, I miss you ;)
We Wear the Mask
WE wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,—
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
And mouth with myriad subtleties.
Why should the world be over-wise,
In counting all our tears and sighs?
Nay, let them only see us, while
We wear the mask.
We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries
To thee from tortured souls arise.
We sing, but oh the clay is vile
Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
But let the world dream otherwise,
We wear the mask!
I was in the middle of the hallway deep in conversation with a volunteer who I had met once or twice before about Amanda Palmer in varying states of undress when I stepped out of myself for a moment and realized that I barely discuss this with close friends, much less random people. So the question for a long time has been why I would choose to speak with someone I really didn't know that well about something that has heretofore been a closely guarded secret. I rarely bring up people I'm attracted to and I generally intentionally skip over mentioning women unless I'm with a certain few people. So why was I in the middle of the hallway casually discussing how hot i thought BOTH of the Dresden dolls were?
Well, there's a lot of answers but the big one is this: Hiding is tiring and it mostly just hurts me. I'm beautiful Goddamnit: Creativity, compassion, bitchy Dramatic tendencies, secular humanism, Bi-curiosity, mistakes, extra 35 pounds and all. It's all beautiful. Keeping it in is a lot of work. Keeping it in is me telling myself it's wrong or that other people's definitions of beautiful matter more than mine. FUCK THEM. I'm so tired. I don't think I've said that enough: it hurts and I'm tired.
When I went to the gaming convention in may, it was instantly clear that no one cared about "masks" and you were free to be whoever you really were. I was really comfortable and just behaved however I wanted to in any given situation. Funny thing--that entire weekend, everytime I looked in the mirror, I was happy with what I saw, in an actual, physical sense. Normally, I see too much weight or too little weight or the one hair thats out of place or the fact that my jeans are too tight underneath the huge shirt that covers them up anyways; and it's never the same problem I see--most of the time it's like i'm looking at a new me with a new problem every day. For three whole days, I looked in the mirror and saw a pretty girl -- the same pretty girl--every day.
I cried the night before I had to go back to work because I knew that the ugly girl would come back, the mask would have to go back on and I would have to go back to hating certain things about myself. I was partially right. The girl in the mirror is about the same everyday-- not as pretty as she was that weekend, but not fatally flawed and incessantly morphing. I do hate certain things about myself but I think some of those things will take a much longer process to deal with than 3 weekend days and a few conversations. The mask is back on, but it's bothering me more and more. And more and more I find reasons to cut pieces off of it. Thank God, because it's starting to ruin my skin and warp my beautiful face.
I was in the hallway having that conversation about half-naked amanda palmer because I WANT THE MASK OFF. OFF. Sometimes the mask is needed just like a good pair of high heels. But just like the heels, it gets irritating and old after more than a couple of hours.
Why did I begin this long journey with taht one convesation with that particular person? I'm still not entirely sure how, maybe i noticed wear marks in his face, maybe it was all conjecture based on the fact that we both like a band with a fucked up sense of beauty, but somehow I knew he prefers to see faces and he doesn't care what they look like.
And Why am I downstairs at 1 in the morning typing on a blog when I have a loving husband upstairs in bed who all but orders me to put that mask in my back pocket as often as possible? Because I'm a moody, contemplative ass. Sorry Sweetie, I love you. And, Ironically, I miss you ;)
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
yes, i do see that steamroller on the horizon
...but I'm in cement up to my knees.
I have not had a good day. I have had a busy and stressful couple of weeks. I am well aware of the fact that my ass is going to burn out VERY VERY soon (in fact kind of already has--more on that later)if I don't do anything about it and I can do precisely dick about it. I was going to go to dance, but then my previously sore neck started feeling sore again, so I said, no biggie, I'll go get my hair cut instead.
And then later I had what I so impolitely call a walking corpse in my office. Seeing someone who's almost dead or seriously ill or seriously in pain is absolutely worse than getting a call that they've died. SO i had to deal with that for like a half hour, or 5 minutes--I don't really know, time just became irrelevant at that point. At this point I was seriously wishing my neck didn't fucking hurt so I could go to dance class because that's about the only thing that will work that kind of stress and emotional turmoil out of me.
But at least, I was finally going to get the haircut I had been growing my hair out for for 1.5 years and had drawn a sketch of a year ago. *I* kept track of a sketch on a random piece of paper for a YEAR. I even got a tip about a hair place that might be able to handle the crazy ass things I wanted (from a cute blonde girl with a turquoise streak in her hair, no less)
I went to go to the appointment and could NOT find it. Worse yet, I had my phone in my pocket and the jeans were too tight when I was sitting down for me to pull the phone out and I was on windy ass roads. I should have known to have my phone out because I know i tend to get lost in that area and I know getting lost in that area means windy ass roads. The stylist called me about 20 mins after my appt and asked me to re-schedule because it was so late so, me being the softspoken, passive sweetheart I am, said "yeah, whatever" very rudely and then hung up the phone. *SHIT*
I called back like 45 secs later and she didn't pick up, so I apologized to the answering machine, and I'm sure I sound like a fucking neurotic mess. So, I am leaving the ball in her park to call to re-schedule since I was such a whore about such a minor thing.
So then I did what any mature 31 year old would do when missing a haircut, cried--no, wailed--no, screamed with tears in my eyes all the way home. Honestly I didn't know I was capable of such noise. Over a haircut. I wonder if I'll call the stylist a cuntrag for "taking away my haircut" on the off chance that she happens to call to re-schedule.
Yeah I smell that. It smells like burnout. It doesn't seem to be going away. Off to bed, to wake up at 6, roll out and head back in to work. That'll cure anything! Right?!
...Oh my god, I sound like a psycho.
I have not had a good day. I have had a busy and stressful couple of weeks. I am well aware of the fact that my ass is going to burn out VERY VERY soon (in fact kind of already has--more on that later)if I don't do anything about it and I can do precisely dick about it. I was going to go to dance, but then my previously sore neck started feeling sore again, so I said, no biggie, I'll go get my hair cut instead.
And then later I had what I so impolitely call a walking corpse in my office. Seeing someone who's almost dead or seriously ill or seriously in pain is absolutely worse than getting a call that they've died. SO i had to deal with that for like a half hour, or 5 minutes--I don't really know, time just became irrelevant at that point. At this point I was seriously wishing my neck didn't fucking hurt so I could go to dance class because that's about the only thing that will work that kind of stress and emotional turmoil out of me.
But at least, I was finally going to get the haircut I had been growing my hair out for for 1.5 years and had drawn a sketch of a year ago. *I* kept track of a sketch on a random piece of paper for a YEAR. I even got a tip about a hair place that might be able to handle the crazy ass things I wanted (from a cute blonde girl with a turquoise streak in her hair, no less)
I went to go to the appointment and could NOT find it. Worse yet, I had my phone in my pocket and the jeans were too tight when I was sitting down for me to pull the phone out and I was on windy ass roads. I should have known to have my phone out because I know i tend to get lost in that area and I know getting lost in that area means windy ass roads. The stylist called me about 20 mins after my appt and asked me to re-schedule because it was so late so, me being the softspoken, passive sweetheart I am, said "yeah, whatever" very rudely and then hung up the phone. *SHIT*
I called back like 45 secs later and she didn't pick up, so I apologized to the answering machine, and I'm sure I sound like a fucking neurotic mess. So, I am leaving the ball in her park to call to re-schedule since I was such a whore about such a minor thing.
So then I did what any mature 31 year old would do when missing a haircut, cried--no, wailed--no, screamed with tears in my eyes all the way home. Honestly I didn't know I was capable of such noise. Over a haircut. I wonder if I'll call the stylist a cuntrag for "taking away my haircut" on the off chance that she happens to call to re-schedule.
Yeah I smell that. It smells like burnout. It doesn't seem to be going away. Off to bed, to wake up at 6, roll out and head back in to work. That'll cure anything! Right?!
...Oh my god, I sound like a psycho.
Friday, April 24, 2009
yes, i do walk around with a permanent storm cloud over my head.
Goddamnit, son-of-a-bitch, cunt, cunt whore, asshole, bitch BITCH!
*sigh*
okay, I feel better now that I got it out of my system. I promised myself this year that when I did not get past choreography competition prelims I would NOT curse at my mother or treat her like crap, or anyone else for that matter. And when I did not make prelims, I made an annoyed call to my husband to tell him I didn't get in and then whined to mom about how I don't like it when they don't take a full three pieces into the finals in each category. And then I painted a smile--okay maybe not a smile, but a less annoyed look--on my face and went about watching different things and hanging out with mom at the arts festival.
I am still annoyed and I stated that more than once, but I was a good girl and did not treat anyone like crap, curse at my mother, or otherwise act like a baby... Even though I really wanted to.
I would love to win, but that's not why I take dances to choreography competition. That said, I would like a little fucking recognition or at least the chance for a slightly bigger audience (or at least one that isn't all dancers and moms of dancers in the prelims). I have no other outlet for this, and I'm definitely thankful to have one at all, but damnit, sometimes I want to be seen.
I was at least hoping for a "you know I really got what you were saying and i totally agree with you" (from someone other than my mom and her friend), but no such luck this year :/
People wonder why I am so obsessed with Amanda Palmer and other crazy ass performers, and it's partly because they help keep me going. The idea that someone somewhere can do whatever crazy motherfucking thing they want, and not only get away with it, but have a theater full of people eating out of their hand is beautiful. I don't ever expect for this to happen for me and I don't really want to be a star, but it's nice to know that doing whatever insane creative thing comes to mind pays off sometimes.
So, in case you're wondering, yes there will be another display of creative insanity a la vo0 at next year's competition that will probably also get nowhere because I refuse to stop creating and I refuse to do something just because I think it will win.
*sigh*
okay, I feel better now that I got it out of my system. I promised myself this year that when I did not get past choreography competition prelims I would NOT curse at my mother or treat her like crap, or anyone else for that matter. And when I did not make prelims, I made an annoyed call to my husband to tell him I didn't get in and then whined to mom about how I don't like it when they don't take a full three pieces into the finals in each category. And then I painted a smile--okay maybe not a smile, but a less annoyed look--on my face and went about watching different things and hanging out with mom at the arts festival.
I am still annoyed and I stated that more than once, but I was a good girl and did not treat anyone like crap, curse at my mother, or otherwise act like a baby... Even though I really wanted to.
I would love to win, but that's not why I take dances to choreography competition. That said, I would like a little fucking recognition or at least the chance for a slightly bigger audience (or at least one that isn't all dancers and moms of dancers in the prelims). I have no other outlet for this, and I'm definitely thankful to have one at all, but damnit, sometimes I want to be seen.
I was at least hoping for a "you know I really got what you were saying and i totally agree with you" (from someone other than my mom and her friend), but no such luck this year :/
People wonder why I am so obsessed with Amanda Palmer and other crazy ass performers, and it's partly because they help keep me going. The idea that someone somewhere can do whatever crazy motherfucking thing they want, and not only get away with it, but have a theater full of people eating out of their hand is beautiful. I don't ever expect for this to happen for me and I don't really want to be a star, but it's nice to know that doing whatever insane creative thing comes to mind pays off sometimes.
So, in case you're wondering, yes there will be another display of creative insanity a la vo0 at next year's competition that will probably also get nowhere because I refuse to stop creating and I refuse to do something just because I think it will win.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
sad vo0 in snow (deadliest catch spoilers within)
First of all, fuck you for even thinking about thinking that my gimmicky title is a reference that has been used too many times.
Second of all, fuck death.
We just finished watching deadliest catch and the end of the show was the coast guard looking for 11 people abord a cod fishing boat, finding one dead and seeing nothing else but a bunch of debris. That combined with the tension at work put me in a tearful, reflective, bitchy sort of mood.
The tension at work has to do with the state budget. As is, HIV organizations will not get enough funding from the state to meet federal guidelines for Ryan White matching funds, which means in simple terms that our funding gets cut in half. Which means potentially less ASO's (which could theoretically mean mine getitng shut down) and definitely less funding for medicine/medical care, which translates to people being sick, uncomfortable and dying when it's not necessary. I think that this is what I may be about to have to witness. The state senate was going to pass the budget at last word. In theory they could change it but... I don't have a good feeling about this.
I have mentioned before that this job is where my heart is and that I really care about the clients I see. Here's the thing with this population. They are remarkable. Some with doctorates, some chefs, some social workers, some doctors, some chaplains, some studying to be nurses, some... you get the point. The thing that is hard to realize is exactly what is meant by "AIDS doesn't discriminate" until you meet some of these people. I have clients who are smarter or more interesting or more determined than I ever could think of being, and almost all of them are better at keeping up with their medical care.
In December, we had open house and, at said open house, we had several squares of the AIDS quilt. I stood in that room and balled for 20 minutes on 2 different occasions. It was very clear from the quilts that these people were not dregs or throwaways and that someone cared very deeply for them. Better yet, half of them were younger than me when they died... that's what started the waterworks the first time. I am afraid that we could see this again. We could see beautiful people in pain and dying before thier time again if this funding shit doesn't get straight.
I'm not saying this as a plea or an appeal to you to go do something about it. I'm just telling you how it is. I don't give a shit if you sit on your couch and eat potato chips and let the whole thing happen. I'm telling you my honest feelings. Do or don't do whatever you want to with that. Here's how I feel: I don't want my fucking heart broken and it very well may be. My job may end, and it's an amazing job. My job may not end and I may have clients who were previously happy and healthy walking, hobbling or being wheeled in the door in pain. I may have to say goodbye to a lot more people a lot earlier and I don't fucking want to. It's not fair.
It is in within normal job parameters to have to say goodbye because I work with adults. People die of cancer, they get in car wrecks, shit happens. What I really hope I don't have to see on a regular basis is people in and out of the hospital 6 times with pneumonia, showing up in my office barely able to breathe and then me getting the phone call 2 days later. I've had walking corpses in my office and it's unnerving. Not because I'm not a grown-up and I don't expect these things, but because these are good people and I don't want to see them suffer any more than I would my husband or my mother. Seriously. I am not fucking exaggerating when I say that.
I am known in my circles for being good at being dramatic and making things into something bigger than they are. I am not in the slightest exaggerating how I feel. Hopefully I am exaggerating what will happen if funding doesn't change, but as far as I know, I'm not.
Frustrating Damnit.
Second of all, fuck death.
We just finished watching deadliest catch and the end of the show was the coast guard looking for 11 people abord a cod fishing boat, finding one dead and seeing nothing else but a bunch of debris. That combined with the tension at work put me in a tearful, reflective, bitchy sort of mood.
The tension at work has to do with the state budget. As is, HIV organizations will not get enough funding from the state to meet federal guidelines for Ryan White matching funds, which means in simple terms that our funding gets cut in half. Which means potentially less ASO's (which could theoretically mean mine getitng shut down) and definitely less funding for medicine/medical care, which translates to people being sick, uncomfortable and dying when it's not necessary. I think that this is what I may be about to have to witness. The state senate was going to pass the budget at last word. In theory they could change it but... I don't have a good feeling about this.
I have mentioned before that this job is where my heart is and that I really care about the clients I see. Here's the thing with this population. They are remarkable. Some with doctorates, some chefs, some social workers, some doctors, some chaplains, some studying to be nurses, some... you get the point. The thing that is hard to realize is exactly what is meant by "AIDS doesn't discriminate" until you meet some of these people. I have clients who are smarter or more interesting or more determined than I ever could think of being, and almost all of them are better at keeping up with their medical care.
In December, we had open house and, at said open house, we had several squares of the AIDS quilt. I stood in that room and balled for 20 minutes on 2 different occasions. It was very clear from the quilts that these people were not dregs or throwaways and that someone cared very deeply for them. Better yet, half of them were younger than me when they died... that's what started the waterworks the first time. I am afraid that we could see this again. We could see beautiful people in pain and dying before thier time again if this funding shit doesn't get straight.
I'm not saying this as a plea or an appeal to you to go do something about it. I'm just telling you how it is. I don't give a shit if you sit on your couch and eat potato chips and let the whole thing happen. I'm telling you my honest feelings. Do or don't do whatever you want to with that. Here's how I feel: I don't want my fucking heart broken and it very well may be. My job may end, and it's an amazing job. My job may not end and I may have clients who were previously happy and healthy walking, hobbling or being wheeled in the door in pain. I may have to say goodbye to a lot more people a lot earlier and I don't fucking want to. It's not fair.
It is in within normal job parameters to have to say goodbye because I work with adults. People die of cancer, they get in car wrecks, shit happens. What I really hope I don't have to see on a regular basis is people in and out of the hospital 6 times with pneumonia, showing up in my office barely able to breathe and then me getting the phone call 2 days later. I've had walking corpses in my office and it's unnerving. Not because I'm not a grown-up and I don't expect these things, but because these are good people and I don't want to see them suffer any more than I would my husband or my mother. Seriously. I am not fucking exaggerating when I say that.
I am known in my circles for being good at being dramatic and making things into something bigger than they are. I am not in the slightest exaggerating how I feel. Hopefully I am exaggerating what will happen if funding doesn't change, but as far as I know, I'm not.
Frustrating Damnit.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
seriously?!
Seriously!? are we going to play this game again? How about this, I'll stay out of your bedroom and leave you to have your archaic, stone faced missionary sex, and you stay the hell out of ours. Us sinners can just send you
something from our bedroom so you won't have to come in here. How about that?
something from our bedroom so you won't have to come in here. How about that?
Thursday, April 16, 2009
bands you would miss work for?
My husband and I were discussing music as we often do, especially after the last two shows we went to, and the question came up, "which bands would you miss work for?" By this I mean that you would have to take the whole day off from work and having not previously asked for it off and having no vacation or sick time, and possibly getting in trouble if someone found out you were faking. Which bands/musicians would you do this for? Of course, I forgot my husband's, but I'm pretty sure one of them is the pixies.
Here are mine:
Eatliz
Tilly and The Wall
Muse (although maybe not if it was in an arena or huge venue)
Tori Amos but only of she was in a smaller theater or club--nothing bigger than Alabama theater.
Diana Krall but again with the small theater stipulation
And here's my list of bands I'd lie about having a dr's appt for in order to leave a couple hours early:
-The Dresden Dolls (they would be on the other list if i hadn't seen them twice already)
-Amanda Fucking Palmer (she would also be on the other list if I hadn't seen her and the dolls so much already)
-Daikaiju (yes, after one show, they have this status)
-Silversun Pickups
-Imogen Heap
-Two Ton Boa
-They might be giants (yes, even though i have seen them like 5 or 6 times.)
-Some of None (*sigh*)
-Catawampus Universe (*sigh*)
Tell me yours!
Here are mine:
Eatliz
Tilly and The Wall
Muse (although maybe not if it was in an arena or huge venue)
Tori Amos but only of she was in a smaller theater or club--nothing bigger than Alabama theater.
Diana Krall but again with the small theater stipulation
And here's my list of bands I'd lie about having a dr's appt for in order to leave a couple hours early:
-The Dresden Dolls (they would be on the other list if i hadn't seen them twice already)
-Amanda Fucking Palmer (she would also be on the other list if I hadn't seen her and the dolls so much already)
-Daikaiju (yes, after one show, they have this status)
-Silversun Pickups
-Imogen Heap
-Two Ton Boa
-They might be giants (yes, even though i have seen them like 5 or 6 times.)
-Some of None (*sigh*)
-Catawampus Universe (*sigh*)
Tell me yours!
Saturday, April 11, 2009
WTF?
I don't get it:
http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/
Those are all from professional bakeries. I am COMPLETELY untrained in any way, and I can do better than that. See?
http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/
Those are all from professional bakeries. I am COMPLETELY untrained in any way, and I can do better than that. See?
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Review of the "The Green Seed", "Broken Letters" and "Daikaiju" show at workplay.
As I said on twitter, there will be many verbose posts on this show because it struck a lot of chords (I'll let you decide if the pun was intended or not). As my friends David and Bill pointed out, a blog is something that anyone can read, and you should only post things that you're not afraid for people to read. They also said you shouldn't be afraid to say something just because you're afraid you might "offend" someone or cause a planet to go out of alignment or something.
So, that said, I am comfortable with the bands I am speaking about reading this. What I have to say is mostly positive, and the things that aren't are truly constructive criticism. Being an artist and a perfectionist myself, I know that bashing does nothing but that getting no feedback at all can actually be more frustrating than being bashed. New ideas and constructive criticism are always a good thing (even if I scream at you that you're a moron, I actually do appreciate it).
Did I tell the bands what I'm about to say to their face? Hell no. Why? this has more to do with the fact that me walking up to someone to say "hi" is more nerve racking and requires more energy than you could possibly imagine, than it has t do with "I'll say on my blog it's cool if they read this, but I honestly hope they never know." I hope they do know to be honest, but I'm always afraid to approach anyone with criticism since I like to make everything easy and happy all the time.
The Green Seed - They surprised both me and my husband. We knew this was a hip-hop group, but we had no idea that they were a hip-hop group who rapped about video games, x-men and sci-fi movies. I love the nerd references, and I loved that these guys are absolutely not afraid to do what they want with their art. Nerd rap is not a big genre and not even MC Chris will ever have the kind of fame that brittany spears or nickleback has. Yet, there were three black guys playing to an audience of pasty white children like me and getting a decent audience response from 25 people, half of whom appeared to be friends, crew, etc. of the headliners. They will never get love from alot of people, but they will got alot of really genuine love from the few of us who appreciate what they're doing. I love anyone who's willing to tow the line to make the art they think they should make.
Aside from that, these guys are genuinely talented. Complet is the main MC and it was his lyrics that turned my head and made laugh. He went completely off during "Xmess", a song where he lambasted the creators of the Xmen movies, all the time showing off his rhythm and rhyme. It was catchy, musically viable, and hysterical all at once. Rtist is usually the 'back up' MC and his rhythm is insane. I have never heard anyone that can rap that fast, use syncopation and keep right on the beat the whole time. He also added a lot of character to the show by joking around in between songs. Their DJ/mixmaster DJ FX is ridiculously talented. He did a great job of mixing and his scratching was fucking brilliant -- the rhythms were so cool I have been staring at my screen for 2 minutes to come up with the right word to describe them.
My only constructive criticism is something my husband said, that I have to agree with. Sometimes their "references" consisted of them just spouting off a bunch of game and movie titles, and it wouldn't hurt if sometimes they were a little more clever with their references. MC Chris has always done a great job with this, and it wouldn't hurt them to borrow from him in this aspect just a little. They are nothing like MC Chris and overall that's a really good thing, but I'd just like to see them figure out how to make their references a little less direct in some of their songs.
That said, any and all nerds out there who like music should go check out the green seed. I'm looking in the direction of everyone who reads this blog because I know all of you and you all are music lovin', card carryin' NERDS.
Broken Letters- they're definitely talented, and definitely don't sound like Nickelback. I generally love any indy rock sound over any standard radio rock anytime. I'm not saying that to be "all indy and shit", I'm saying it because it's true. It's like me saying I usually would rather look at any cute Indian chick than any cute Asian chick -- It's just a preference. That said, I felt like I didn't know what they sounded like. I heard a lot of influences and I heard a little bit of their own sound emerging, but I really wanted to hear more. Also, I like my music to move and go somewhere, and theirs kind of meandered. For me, it wasn't bad, it was just kind of... there. But maybe me not "feeling" them is like me not "feeling" 'lost in translation' -- it may just be a style that I don't really get.
Daikaiju- Wow. I don't think I can possibly really explain to you what I heard from them on Saturday. It was absolutely unreal. The problem in my trying to explain the sound is that their myspace clips don't even do it justice, never mind mere words. The recorded version of their music is so much less intense and energetic than what I heard Saturday. This is not to say that the CD wouldn't be good, in fact the clips on myspace sound great, but this band is one who's true nature cannot be captured in a recording studio. I would call them "Hardcore Surf Fusion".
They played so hard and so fast at Workplay that it was unreal. The thing is, it still sounded amazing. All the rhythm complexities, chord progressions, and variances in sound came through very clearly even though they were playing at a blistering pace. And it was definitely loud, but it wasn't "speed metal" loud and it wasn't ALWAYS loud. Like I mentioned before, they used different sounds, volumes, tempos, rhythms, etc. Each song was unique and they even had a couple with a darker feel like "Escape from Nebula M" (which happens to be on their myspace page).
I do not play an intrument, so sometimes I am impressed by things that really aren't that remarkable. So, on the way home, I asked my husband who plays guitar as a hobby "was the lead guitarist as good as I think he was?" His response was "the progressions in surf rock are not as difficult as they are in something like blues, but you're playing them 20 times faster, so it still takes a lot of skill. So, yeah... He was really good."
I don't want to just trumpet the lead guitarist because they were all talented. Rhythm guitar is honestly hard to tell one way or another how talented someone is because they're playing the rhythm part, but he kept up and he definitely added to the sound.
I don't play bass, but I play bass in rock band, and my general observation is that with a bass line it's really simple: if it sounds hard, it usually is, and if it doesn't, it's not. I know that rock band has only a passing resemblance to real life, so I'm not claiming to be an expert based on my experience playing a video game. But, if I'm right, then the bassist was brilliant. Actually, just watching him, I could see he had equally nimble fingers to the lead guitarist and, in some places, was all over the fret board just as much as the lead guitarist... sorry that can't be easy. Actually, they played a very bass heavy song that I loved, and he was pretty much the one leading the pack on that song. He did a great job.
I don't play drums, but I am a tap dancer, which means I know something about rhythms, and which ones are hard and which ones are easy. You might be thinking "yes, but drum sticks and feet are very different." Yes they are, but brains are brains. The hardest type of rhythm to wrap your head around is a repeating pattern that has a slight alteration occasionally. I heard/saw a lot of these... at like 2398203948 bpm no less. There were also several songs with at least a few tempo changes, which are hard for all members of the band, but as the drummer, you have to be spot on or the whole band sounds like shit. Not a problem.
Daikaiju is one of the most intense, most musically interesting and most talented bands I have ever seen. I was absolutely blown away. I think my brain is splattered all over the back wall of Workplay from that show.
I really don't have criticism but if I were forced to give some, I would say that they don't need the theatrics: they wear masks, they have fancy lighting, they have a disco robot on stage... it's really not necessary. When you're that good, you don't need a gimmick. However, if it makes them happy to wear masks and have disco robots, who am I to judge? As long as they play like that, they could come out naked for all I care.
So, that said, I am comfortable with the bands I am speaking about reading this. What I have to say is mostly positive, and the things that aren't are truly constructive criticism. Being an artist and a perfectionist myself, I know that bashing does nothing but that getting no feedback at all can actually be more frustrating than being bashed. New ideas and constructive criticism are always a good thing (even if I scream at you that you're a moron, I actually do appreciate it).
Did I tell the bands what I'm about to say to their face? Hell no. Why? this has more to do with the fact that me walking up to someone to say "hi" is more nerve racking and requires more energy than you could possibly imagine, than it has t do with "I'll say on my blog it's cool if they read this, but I honestly hope they never know." I hope they do know to be honest, but I'm always afraid to approach anyone with criticism since I like to make everything easy and happy all the time.
The Green Seed - They surprised both me and my husband. We knew this was a hip-hop group, but we had no idea that they were a hip-hop group who rapped about video games, x-men and sci-fi movies. I love the nerd references, and I loved that these guys are absolutely not afraid to do what they want with their art. Nerd rap is not a big genre and not even MC Chris will ever have the kind of fame that brittany spears or nickleback has. Yet, there were three black guys playing to an audience of pasty white children like me and getting a decent audience response from 25 people, half of whom appeared to be friends, crew, etc. of the headliners. They will never get love from alot of people, but they will got alot of really genuine love from the few of us who appreciate what they're doing. I love anyone who's willing to tow the line to make the art they think they should make.
Aside from that, these guys are genuinely talented. Complet is the main MC and it was his lyrics that turned my head and made laugh. He went completely off during "Xmess", a song where he lambasted the creators of the Xmen movies, all the time showing off his rhythm and rhyme. It was catchy, musically viable, and hysterical all at once. Rtist is usually the 'back up' MC and his rhythm is insane. I have never heard anyone that can rap that fast, use syncopation and keep right on the beat the whole time. He also added a lot of character to the show by joking around in between songs. Their DJ/mixmaster DJ FX is ridiculously talented. He did a great job of mixing and his scratching was fucking brilliant -- the rhythms were so cool I have been staring at my screen for 2 minutes to come up with the right word to describe them.
My only constructive criticism is something my husband said, that I have to agree with. Sometimes their "references" consisted of them just spouting off a bunch of game and movie titles, and it wouldn't hurt if sometimes they were a little more clever with their references. MC Chris has always done a great job with this, and it wouldn't hurt them to borrow from him in this aspect just a little. They are nothing like MC Chris and overall that's a really good thing, but I'd just like to see them figure out how to make their references a little less direct in some of their songs.
That said, any and all nerds out there who like music should go check out the green seed. I'm looking in the direction of everyone who reads this blog because I know all of you and you all are music lovin', card carryin' NERDS.
Broken Letters- they're definitely talented, and definitely don't sound like Nickelback. I generally love any indy rock sound over any standard radio rock anytime. I'm not saying that to be "all indy and shit", I'm saying it because it's true. It's like me saying I usually would rather look at any cute Indian chick than any cute Asian chick -- It's just a preference. That said, I felt like I didn't know what they sounded like. I heard a lot of influences and I heard a little bit of their own sound emerging, but I really wanted to hear more. Also, I like my music to move and go somewhere, and theirs kind of meandered. For me, it wasn't bad, it was just kind of... there. But maybe me not "feeling" them is like me not "feeling" 'lost in translation' -- it may just be a style that I don't really get.
Daikaiju- Wow. I don't think I can possibly really explain to you what I heard from them on Saturday. It was absolutely unreal. The problem in my trying to explain the sound is that their myspace clips don't even do it justice, never mind mere words. The recorded version of their music is so much less intense and energetic than what I heard Saturday. This is not to say that the CD wouldn't be good, in fact the clips on myspace sound great, but this band is one who's true nature cannot be captured in a recording studio. I would call them "Hardcore Surf Fusion".
They played so hard and so fast at Workplay that it was unreal. The thing is, it still sounded amazing. All the rhythm complexities, chord progressions, and variances in sound came through very clearly even though they were playing at a blistering pace. And it was definitely loud, but it wasn't "speed metal" loud and it wasn't ALWAYS loud. Like I mentioned before, they used different sounds, volumes, tempos, rhythms, etc. Each song was unique and they even had a couple with a darker feel like "Escape from Nebula M" (which happens to be on their myspace page).
I do not play an intrument, so sometimes I am impressed by things that really aren't that remarkable. So, on the way home, I asked my husband who plays guitar as a hobby "was the lead guitarist as good as I think he was?" His response was "the progressions in surf rock are not as difficult as they are in something like blues, but you're playing them 20 times faster, so it still takes a lot of skill. So, yeah... He was really good."
I don't want to just trumpet the lead guitarist because they were all talented. Rhythm guitar is honestly hard to tell one way or another how talented someone is because they're playing the rhythm part, but he kept up and he definitely added to the sound.
I don't play bass, but I play bass in rock band, and my general observation is that with a bass line it's really simple: if it sounds hard, it usually is, and if it doesn't, it's not. I know that rock band has only a passing resemblance to real life, so I'm not claiming to be an expert based on my experience playing a video game. But, if I'm right, then the bassist was brilliant. Actually, just watching him, I could see he had equally nimble fingers to the lead guitarist and, in some places, was all over the fret board just as much as the lead guitarist... sorry that can't be easy. Actually, they played a very bass heavy song that I loved, and he was pretty much the one leading the pack on that song. He did a great job.
I don't play drums, but I am a tap dancer, which means I know something about rhythms, and which ones are hard and which ones are easy. You might be thinking "yes, but drum sticks and feet are very different." Yes they are, but brains are brains. The hardest type of rhythm to wrap your head around is a repeating pattern that has a slight alteration occasionally. I heard/saw a lot of these... at like 2398203948 bpm no less. There were also several songs with at least a few tempo changes, which are hard for all members of the band, but as the drummer, you have to be spot on or the whole band sounds like shit. Not a problem.
Daikaiju is one of the most intense, most musically interesting and most talented bands I have ever seen. I was absolutely blown away. I think my brain is splattered all over the back wall of Workplay from that show.
I really don't have criticism but if I were forced to give some, I would say that they don't need the theatrics: they wear masks, they have fancy lighting, they have a disco robot on stage... it's really not necessary. When you're that good, you don't need a gimmick. However, if it makes them happy to wear masks and have disco robots, who am I to judge? As long as they play like that, they could come out naked for all I care.
most intense bands ever?
About a week ago, Whitehowler and I were driving around in the car with some crazy music blasting, and i said "what are the most intense bands we listen to?" And we came up with a good list, which I promptly forgot. But I thought it was an interesting question. In this case, intense describes a certain quality the makes your brain feel like it's going to explode... but, for me, this often has nothing to do with volume or speed or number of instruments. So, here we go, here's my list of intense bands (in no particular order)
1. Supersystem
2. The Dresden Dolls
3. DaiKaiju
4. Muse
5. Tool
6. Eatliz
7. Two Ton Boa
8. The Pixies (btw, their myspace says something about a tour in 2009 for you fans out there)
What do you guys think? post in comments or tweet on http://twitter.com/vo0do0chile
_________________________________________________________________
I was told 'Shame on you for not putting Nine Inch Nails on your "most intense bands" list.' by my husband. He brings up a solid point. Actually, I meant to put them on there and forgot.
1. Supersystem
2. The Dresden Dolls
3. DaiKaiju
4. Muse
5. Tool
6. Eatliz
7. Two Ton Boa
8. The Pixies (btw, their myspace says something about a tour in 2009 for you fans out there)
What do you guys think? post in comments or tweet on http://twitter.com/vo0do0chile
_________________________________________________________________
I was told 'Shame on you for not putting Nine Inch Nails on your "most intense bands" list.' by my husband. He brings up a solid point. Actually, I meant to put them on there and forgot.
Friday, March 27, 2009
New projects and websites
I wanted to let you all know what I had been up to lately that was occupying so much of my time.
I am proud to announce The re-opening of Happy Hippy Jewlery at http://hippybeads.etsy.com and the opening of "Happy Hippy Happenings", the Happy Hippy Blog.
I am also proud to announce the grand opening of Artful Unity at http://artfulunity.etsy.com . Artful Unity is a new project I started to be able to create higher quality artisan jewelry. For an explanation, you can check out "Artful Elaborations", our lovely blog.
(sorry for the re-post on this. it was an accident, I swear)
I am proud to announce The re-opening of Happy Hippy Jewlery at http://hippybeads.etsy.com and the opening of "Happy Hippy Happenings", the Happy Hippy Blog.
I am also proud to announce the grand opening of Artful Unity at http://artfulunity.etsy.com . Artful Unity is a new project I started to be able to create higher quality artisan jewelry. For an explanation, you can check out "Artful Elaborations", our lovely blog.
(sorry for the re-post on this. it was an accident, I swear)
Thursday, March 26, 2009
tv (possible spoilers for BSG, Dollhouse and Breaking Bad)
I guess I should post something about all the geek TV that's been getting lots of blog space:
Battle Star Galactica Finale: Loved it. Ron Moore pretty much said that Hendrix is God and we should all live like Hippies. How can I disagree with that? ;)
Dollhouse: Okay, I shall remove my tongue from my cheek for this one. This show has tremendous potential, but I don't think it's living up to it. There's lots of reasons. For one, Some of the conflict was introduced too early. I didn't give a shit about a Helo... err Paul Ballard until the 6th episode, and really I'm still only mildly interested. I think if they had waited to introduce him, I might care. Another example is this whoel thing with "alpha". Again, I just barely met echo and I don't really know what she's all about. Why did this story start in like 2nd or 3rd episode. I think they needed to establish parameters of the dolhouse and the dolls and the handlers and the staff, and THEN introduce terrible accidents. I have no frame of reference for this place because it's not real or a widely known fantasy sci-fi concept and they keep changing it. Establish what it is and what the dynamics are first, THEN change it.
Another thing that bugs me is that some of the characters are... crappy. In fact, they're all a little shallow at this point, but that is slowly coming along... Topher, however, makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, run away, go get a gun and shoot themselves. He is so obviously a "type" that they had in thier mind and the actor didn't seem to develop him any past "he's a geeky genius, but he should say cool things because we want to appeal to the teens". Honestly, the only actor i've seen pull this kind of thing off is Seth Green, and oddly, the actor who plays Topher looks like an uglier, younger, skinnier version of Seth Green. So since they didn't have Seth Green, they should have made topher into a normal cool geek like me or my husband or any of my friends.
As far as characters, everyone else, except the dolls, and maybe the doctor still seem kind of one dimensional. I find it interesting that I mentioned the doctor there because they have told us almost nothing about her. However, there's a little bit of depth added to her with the scars, and the fact that she is not very forthcoming with her history, or anything.
Another complaint is that so far, they have been kind of transparent with the plot. Who didn't know in the first episode that Mellie was in some way working for the Dollhouse. I thought she was a normal citizen informant and/or employee and not an active doll, but my husband and I both knew about halfway through the first episode that she was keeping an eye on ballard for the dollhouse. Of course, I can't think of other examples, but there are more. They practically lead us with a leash right to the "plot twists". I hope this stops soon.
I wonder if Joss and the other creators don't know which crowd they're going for. Here's a hint for you: think firefly and not buffy. I know there was a fair bit of crossover in the two audiences, but there were a LOT of people who watched buffy who would never be caught dead watching firefly. This is a geeky show with a lot of grown-up themes, not a show about a hot chick who kicks ass... oh wait. I guess it's a little of both, but I think it's more on the geek and grownup side of things, and i think the creators are insulting us so far by making things so transparent.
That said, I like the concept, and the 6th episode was definitely better than the rest, just like Eliza said it would be. I haven't stopped watching yet, which is more than I can say for Heroes.
Breaking Bad:
Oh my FUCKING god. I have never seen a TV show like this. They make it a lot like they would an indy film as opposed to an episodic drama. Don't get me wrong, each episode has a beginning middle and end-- you don't go away from it feeling like it was incomplete -- but it never has a neat little bow. This show is absolutely brilliant.
Lemme stop gushing and explain the show and explain what I like.
In the first episode we meet Walt. Walt is a high school chemistry teacher, husband, father to a disabled teen and his wife is expecting a baby soon. Walt is soft spoken, works two jobs, and pretty much does whatever he's asked. One day we see him about hacking up a lung during the extra shift he is working at the carwash because someone didn't show up. Walt goes to the doctor who says "you have advanced lung cancer and not very long to live." Walt does what anyone would do... well, sort of. Walt has a mid-life crisis of sorts. The thing about Walt's midlife crisis is that it involves going on a ride-along with his brother-in-law who works for the DEA and then deciding, based on that, that he wants to hook up with one of his old drop-out students and cook meth. Yes.
What I like about is that I am always "with" Walt. They write it in such a way that you really get where he's coming from. You don't always agree with him, and you're not always sure you like him, but you get it. Which touches on another thing I really like. The characters are written in such a way that you don't always love them or always hate them. They're human and they're trying to get through life, and Walt's illness, the best way they know how. Which isn't always the best way... for anyone involved.
The production values and editing on this show are solid. In fact, the editing actually makes a huge difference. Like I said, this looks and feels more like an indy film than a TV series. I've felt that way since the first episode, but this season has been insane with the artistry and unconventionality. We haven't watched the third episode yet, and I hear it's even better than the first two. It's hard to believe that's even possible, but then again, I wouldn't have believed that it could get any better than first season and second season has seriously raised the bar.
The story is really compelling. They haven't done a ton of character development (I'm pretty sure that's intentional... I think there are some things we aren't supposed to know yet), but they've done enough that you care about what's going on, and I often find myself leaning forward on the edge of my seat... for a TV show. This is new. Tears for a TV show? sure. Calling the writers assholes and pouting for several minutes because of a cliffhanger or an unfortunate event? sure. Edge of my seat, biting my fingernails, holding my breath? Not for a TV show--Not before Breaking Bad.
Somehow they have managed to keep the plot surprising without the "oooh plot twist" factor, and keep you interested in a guy who's basically lost his mind and done about the most foolish thing he could possibly have done.
This show is nothing short of brilliant, and I don't care how much TV you're watching; drop something else if you have to, but watch this show. If you're not hooked from the first episode, I'll be amazed.
Battle Star Galactica Finale: Loved it. Ron Moore pretty much said that Hendrix is God and we should all live like Hippies. How can I disagree with that? ;)
Dollhouse: Okay, I shall remove my tongue from my cheek for this one. This show has tremendous potential, but I don't think it's living up to it. There's lots of reasons. For one, Some of the conflict was introduced too early. I didn't give a shit about a Helo... err Paul Ballard until the 6th episode, and really I'm still only mildly interested. I think if they had waited to introduce him, I might care. Another example is this whoel thing with "alpha". Again, I just barely met echo and I don't really know what she's all about. Why did this story start in like 2nd or 3rd episode. I think they needed to establish parameters of the dolhouse and the dolls and the handlers and the staff, and THEN introduce terrible accidents. I have no frame of reference for this place because it's not real or a widely known fantasy sci-fi concept and they keep changing it. Establish what it is and what the dynamics are first, THEN change it.
Another thing that bugs me is that some of the characters are... crappy. In fact, they're all a little shallow at this point, but that is slowly coming along... Topher, however, makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, run away, go get a gun and shoot themselves. He is so obviously a "type" that they had in thier mind and the actor didn't seem to develop him any past "he's a geeky genius, but he should say cool things because we want to appeal to the teens". Honestly, the only actor i've seen pull this kind of thing off is Seth Green, and oddly, the actor who plays Topher looks like an uglier, younger, skinnier version of Seth Green. So since they didn't have Seth Green, they should have made topher into a normal cool geek like me or my husband or any of my friends.
As far as characters, everyone else, except the dolls, and maybe the doctor still seem kind of one dimensional. I find it interesting that I mentioned the doctor there because they have told us almost nothing about her. However, there's a little bit of depth added to her with the scars, and the fact that she is not very forthcoming with her history, or anything.
Another complaint is that so far, they have been kind of transparent with the plot. Who didn't know in the first episode that Mellie was in some way working for the Dollhouse. I thought she was a normal citizen informant and/or employee and not an active doll, but my husband and I both knew about halfway through the first episode that she was keeping an eye on ballard for the dollhouse. Of course, I can't think of other examples, but there are more. They practically lead us with a leash right to the "plot twists". I hope this stops soon.
I wonder if Joss and the other creators don't know which crowd they're going for. Here's a hint for you: think firefly and not buffy. I know there was a fair bit of crossover in the two audiences, but there were a LOT of people who watched buffy who would never be caught dead watching firefly. This is a geeky show with a lot of grown-up themes, not a show about a hot chick who kicks ass... oh wait. I guess it's a little of both, but I think it's more on the geek and grownup side of things, and i think the creators are insulting us so far by making things so transparent.
That said, I like the concept, and the 6th episode was definitely better than the rest, just like Eliza said it would be. I haven't stopped watching yet, which is more than I can say for Heroes.
Breaking Bad:
Oh my FUCKING god. I have never seen a TV show like this. They make it a lot like they would an indy film as opposed to an episodic drama. Don't get me wrong, each episode has a beginning middle and end-- you don't go away from it feeling like it was incomplete -- but it never has a neat little bow. This show is absolutely brilliant.
Lemme stop gushing and explain the show and explain what I like.
In the first episode we meet Walt. Walt is a high school chemistry teacher, husband, father to a disabled teen and his wife is expecting a baby soon. Walt is soft spoken, works two jobs, and pretty much does whatever he's asked. One day we see him about hacking up a lung during the extra shift he is working at the carwash because someone didn't show up. Walt goes to the doctor who says "you have advanced lung cancer and not very long to live." Walt does what anyone would do... well, sort of. Walt has a mid-life crisis of sorts. The thing about Walt's midlife crisis is that it involves going on a ride-along with his brother-in-law who works for the DEA and then deciding, based on that, that he wants to hook up with one of his old drop-out students and cook meth. Yes.
What I like about is that I am always "with" Walt. They write it in such a way that you really get where he's coming from. You don't always agree with him, and you're not always sure you like him, but you get it. Which touches on another thing I really like. The characters are written in such a way that you don't always love them or always hate them. They're human and they're trying to get through life, and Walt's illness, the best way they know how. Which isn't always the best way... for anyone involved.
The production values and editing on this show are solid. In fact, the editing actually makes a huge difference. Like I said, this looks and feels more like an indy film than a TV series. I've felt that way since the first episode, but this season has been insane with the artistry and unconventionality. We haven't watched the third episode yet, and I hear it's even better than the first two. It's hard to believe that's even possible, but then again, I wouldn't have believed that it could get any better than first season and second season has seriously raised the bar.
The story is really compelling. They haven't done a ton of character development (I'm pretty sure that's intentional... I think there are some things we aren't supposed to know yet), but they've done enough that you care about what's going on, and I often find myself leaning forward on the edge of my seat... for a TV show. This is new. Tears for a TV show? sure. Calling the writers assholes and pouting for several minutes because of a cliffhanger or an unfortunate event? sure. Edge of my seat, biting my fingernails, holding my breath? Not for a TV show--Not before Breaking Bad.
Somehow they have managed to keep the plot surprising without the "oooh plot twist" factor, and keep you interested in a guy who's basically lost his mind and done about the most foolish thing he could possibly have done.
This show is nothing short of brilliant, and I don't care how much TV you're watching; drop something else if you have to, but watch this show. If you're not hooked from the first episode, I'll be amazed.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
conversations heard in my car on the way home from a concert
"I would like to point out that Amanda Palmer's crotch was 6 inches from my face."
"Yes, Chris, I know. Asshole... Although I was close enough to see the details on her corset. That's not bad."
Yes seriously, Amanda Fucking Palmer played Radiohead's creep on her ukulele as an encore and proceeded about halfway through to walk through the audience... She stopped at my table, stepped up on the chair next to my husband and then propped her other leg on the chair at the table next to him and sand a verse and a chorus or two in this position. And let me tell you, seeing her up close in a well-made corset and lacy bra, does not make her seem uglier by any means.
Holy Hell.
"Yes, Chris, I know. Asshole... Although I was close enough to see the details on her corset. That's not bad."
Yes seriously, Amanda Fucking Palmer played Radiohead's creep on her ukulele as an encore and proceeded about halfway through to walk through the audience... She stopped at my table, stepped up on the chair next to my husband and then propped her other leg on the chair at the table next to him and sand a verse and a chorus or two in this position. And let me tell you, seeing her up close in a well-made corset and lacy bra, does not make her seem uglier by any means.
Holy Hell.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
where the hell have you been vo0?
hmm.. let's see... working on a dance to take to Panoply choreography competition, completing phase 1 of gardening (we're all sore and tired fromt his too), eating too much chocolate, ignoring the dog, working too hard as usual, and counting the seconds until Amanda Palmer comes here. Speaking of, she's been doing ticket givewaways a couple of hours before her shows. So, if anyone here is interested in going, but not interested enough to pay, you might be able to get free tickets if you follow her twitter.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Announcements! New jewelry site!
I wanted to let you all know what I had been up to lately that was occupying so much of my time.
I am proud to announce The re-opening of Happy Hippy Jewlery at http://hippybeads.etsy.com and the opening of "Happy Hippy Happenings", the Happy Hippy Blog.
I am also proud to announce the grand opening of Artful Unity at http://artfulunity.etsy.com . Artful Unity is a new project I started to be able to create higher quality artisan jewelry. For an explanation, you can check out "Artful Elaborations", our lovely blog.
I am also very extraordinarily proud to announce... nothing else. ever.
I am proud to announce The re-opening of Happy Hippy Jewlery at http://hippybeads.etsy.com and the opening of "Happy Hippy Happenings", the Happy Hippy Blog.
I am also proud to announce the grand opening of Artful Unity at http://artfulunity.etsy.com . Artful Unity is a new project I started to be able to create higher quality artisan jewelry. For an explanation, you can check out "Artful Elaborations", our lovely blog.
I am also very extraordinarily proud to announce... nothing else. ever.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Vo0 and Religion
Remember way back when in Novemeber 08 when I went on my birthday trip/wine tour? I mentioned that I set foot in a church twice and have been meaning to post about it ever since, but have just never felt like I had adequate time.
The first time was for a memorial service for Crossroads House, a "comfort home" similar to a hospice house. My grandmother was there in the first few months of them being open, and they held a ten year anniversary memorial service this november. My mother, my aunt and I went. I was pleasantly surprised. In fact, it was quite beautifal and soothing. There was not a lot of religion brought up, and those things that were had no undertones of conversion or condemnation. It was kind of like a very large group greif counseling session. I was impressed by all the staff members, volunteers and speakers, how kind they were and how happy they seemed. They have one of the hardest jobs you could ever imagine and not only do they do it with a smile, they welcome back grieving family members with open arms to help them through their pain too. I don't see how they do it. I was in awe.
The second time I went to church, we were planning on going somewhere not too long afterward with my aunt, and I had found nothing else to do that morning because my cousin Renee' was busy, and everyone else was at church. They were trying to convince me to go, and my mom said "they sing a lot at your aunt's church" and my aunt said, "yeah, and it won't kill you to go." To which I just shrugged and said, I guess youre right. So, we went, and I sang and sang and sang. And one of the songs really touched me and enlightened me. It's a song called Hiding Place by new life worship. The lyrics talk about using god as a "hiding place" when times are tough. As I sung "I will run to the hiding place" at the tops of my lungs I realised something: I have a hiding place, and it is not, nor will it ever be a church or a god. My hiding place is creativity. If life drops a storm cloud on top of me, I don't look for a spiritual guide, or take comfort in the words of an ancient book, I go dance, I make jewelry, I choregraph something, I cook, I sing along with the radio or I improv in a room by myself. This is where I am happiest and most comfortable. Seeking comfort in the Christian God has always lead me to guilt for being human. Seeking comfort in dance and creativity has always led me to feeling better, improving my self esteem, and, usually, gaining insight on my problems.
For a long time, I have felt that "God is a DJ" by Faithless has been my theme song when it comes to religion. It says "this is my church, this is where I heal my hurts"... "For tonight god is a DJ". I realized in that moment in chuch that this is absolutely who I am, I have no desire to change, and there's nothing wrong with it. Many followers of various religions believe that you need god to survive. I believe that you need a hiding place, be it god, or art, or friends, and you need faith in something, be it god, horse races, or Pam anderson's breasts. My faith is in the ability of the human race to improve and to become more. The less I thinkabout it, the more I realize I am a classic secular humanist, and that being such, does no less than any good religious follower. So, I am going to continue being exactly who I am, and I encourage you to do the same. Find your hiding place, keep faith and hope strong, and don't let anyone tell you you're less of a person for what you believe.
Okay, yes I will hop down off the soapbox now.... I promise to make my next post about violence or sex lest you think I've lost my mind.
The first time was for a memorial service for Crossroads House, a "comfort home" similar to a hospice house. My grandmother was there in the first few months of them being open, and they held a ten year anniversary memorial service this november. My mother, my aunt and I went. I was pleasantly surprised. In fact, it was quite beautifal and soothing. There was not a lot of religion brought up, and those things that were had no undertones of conversion or condemnation. It was kind of like a very large group greif counseling session. I was impressed by all the staff members, volunteers and speakers, how kind they were and how happy they seemed. They have one of the hardest jobs you could ever imagine and not only do they do it with a smile, they welcome back grieving family members with open arms to help them through their pain too. I don't see how they do it. I was in awe.
The second time I went to church, we were planning on going somewhere not too long afterward with my aunt, and I had found nothing else to do that morning because my cousin Renee' was busy, and everyone else was at church. They were trying to convince me to go, and my mom said "they sing a lot at your aunt's church" and my aunt said, "yeah, and it won't kill you to go." To which I just shrugged and said, I guess youre right. So, we went, and I sang and sang and sang. And one of the songs really touched me and enlightened me. It's a song called Hiding Place by new life worship. The lyrics talk about using god as a "hiding place" when times are tough. As I sung "I will run to the hiding place" at the tops of my lungs I realised something: I have a hiding place, and it is not, nor will it ever be a church or a god. My hiding place is creativity. If life drops a storm cloud on top of me, I don't look for a spiritual guide, or take comfort in the words of an ancient book, I go dance, I make jewelry, I choregraph something, I cook, I sing along with the radio or I improv in a room by myself. This is where I am happiest and most comfortable. Seeking comfort in the Christian God has always lead me to guilt for being human. Seeking comfort in dance and creativity has always led me to feeling better, improving my self esteem, and, usually, gaining insight on my problems.
For a long time, I have felt that "God is a DJ" by Faithless has been my theme song when it comes to religion. It says "this is my church, this is where I heal my hurts"... "For tonight god is a DJ". I realized in that moment in chuch that this is absolutely who I am, I have no desire to change, and there's nothing wrong with it. Many followers of various religions believe that you need god to survive. I believe that you need a hiding place, be it god, or art, or friends, and you need faith in something, be it god, horse races, or Pam anderson's breasts. My faith is in the ability of the human race to improve and to become more. The less I thinkabout it, the more I realize I am a classic secular humanist, and that being such, does no less than any good religious follower. So, I am going to continue being exactly who I am, and I encourage you to do the same. Find your hiding place, keep faith and hope strong, and don't let anyone tell you you're less of a person for what you believe.
Okay, yes I will hop down off the soapbox now.... I promise to make my next post about violence or sex lest you think I've lost my mind.
valetines and stuff
Happy valentines day... okay technically it ended 7 minutes ago, but you should be glad i bothered to post at all.
Today I got a cute pink teddy bear, some ghirardhelli dark chocolate raspberry squares and a mp3 soundtrack of Coraline!
Today I also ate a very large waffle smothered in ungodly amount of syrup and then later had a big piece of "icebox cheesecake" (think cheesecake sandwiched between choclate cake despite the fact that I had to buy bigger sized pants two weeks ago... oh well.
We also watched once today and I HIGHLY reccommend it. It's an indy romance film about two talented musicians, who are actually talanted musicians... The actor and actress wrote all the original music in the film and performed everything themselves.... And it's some of the most raw and beautiful music i've ever heard. In fact, I was bad today. I just bought the soundtrack mp3's off of amazon about 10 minutes ago. We really don't have spare money, but I have to have those songs.
Well, that's all for now... talk to you fuckers later ;)
Today I got a cute pink teddy bear, some ghirardhelli dark chocolate raspberry squares and a mp3 soundtrack of Coraline!
Today I also ate a very large waffle smothered in ungodly amount of syrup and then later had a big piece of "icebox cheesecake" (think cheesecake sandwiched between choclate cake despite the fact that I had to buy bigger sized pants two weeks ago... oh well.
We also watched once today and I HIGHLY reccommend it. It's an indy romance film about two talented musicians, who are actually talanted musicians... The actor and actress wrote all the original music in the film and performed everything themselves.... And it's some of the most raw and beautiful music i've ever heard. In fact, I was bad today. I just bought the soundtrack mp3's off of amazon about 10 minutes ago. We really don't have spare money, but I have to have those songs.
Well, that's all for now... talk to you fuckers later ;)
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Coraline
Lots has been going on, but it's a lot of it is chaotic, annoying or depressing, so I don't feel like talking about it right now. (although I did skip over some good stuff, So I should go back and post about that at some point)
What I do want to talk about is the movie Coraline. We went to get ice cream at Coldstone Creamery next to the Imark in alabaster and then went to see Coraline. I skipped doing a lot of fun stuff this weekend because of a lot of reasons, most of which have to wo with the first setence of my post, and I was very annoyed about this. However, I can say that I definiteively had a very good weekend. Coraline is a great movie. It's one of those movies like Labyrinth or Matilda or Princess Bride that is clearly family friendly but actually has elements of a good movie. The movie pulls you in from the start and gets you right into Coraline's world. The story is about a little girl who has what she would consider less than ideal parents and an alternate reality that she falls into where parents are perfect, there is always cake, and mothers sew you sweaters with stars on them rather than buying you grey school uniforms. I don't want to say much more because I don't want to give it away, but this is another brilliant piece of work both from Neil Gaiman and Henry Selik. So far, every well known movie written by Neil or based on a Neil Gaiman novel has been a brilliant bridge between the land of "child friendly" and truly engaging, high quality movies. Neil does for movies what Lauri Berkner does for music.
Whether you have kids, are a kid at heart, or are a curmudgeonly 30 year old who just wishes the neighborhood kids would "get off his lawn", you should absolutely go see this.
Also,if you like Coraline, or any of the movies I mentioned above, you should check out Mirrormask. Great writing, a great abstract fantasy art style, and amazing puppetry from the henson company: you couldn't ask for much more.
Another note: While Neil's movies have tended to be family friendly (the ones i know about anyways), not all of his books are. Coraline is a great older children's or preteens book, and stardust would be great for an adolescent or high schooler, but keep "American Gods" to read yourself. This should go without saying, but make sure you preview books before you give them to your kids.
What I do want to talk about is the movie Coraline. We went to get ice cream at Coldstone Creamery next to the Imark in alabaster and then went to see Coraline. I skipped doing a lot of fun stuff this weekend because of a lot of reasons, most of which have to wo with the first setence of my post, and I was very annoyed about this. However, I can say that I definiteively had a very good weekend. Coraline is a great movie. It's one of those movies like Labyrinth or Matilda or Princess Bride that is clearly family friendly but actually has elements of a good movie. The movie pulls you in from the start and gets you right into Coraline's world. The story is about a little girl who has what she would consider less than ideal parents and an alternate reality that she falls into where parents are perfect, there is always cake, and mothers sew you sweaters with stars on them rather than buying you grey school uniforms. I don't want to say much more because I don't want to give it away, but this is another brilliant piece of work both from Neil Gaiman and Henry Selik. So far, every well known movie written by Neil or based on a Neil Gaiman novel has been a brilliant bridge between the land of "child friendly" and truly engaging, high quality movies. Neil does for movies what Lauri Berkner does for music.
Whether you have kids, are a kid at heart, or are a curmudgeonly 30 year old who just wishes the neighborhood kids would "get off his lawn", you should absolutely go see this.
Also,if you like Coraline, or any of the movies I mentioned above, you should check out Mirrormask. Great writing, a great abstract fantasy art style, and amazing puppetry from the henson company: you couldn't ask for much more.
Another note: While Neil's movies have tended to be family friendly (the ones i know about anyways), not all of his books are. Coraline is a great older children's or preteens book, and stardust would be great for an adolescent or high schooler, but keep "American Gods" to read yourself. This should go without saying, but make sure you preview books before you give them to your kids.
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