Sunday, December 23, 2007

i don't know if there will be a santa letter this year

As some of you may already know from last year's Christmas blog post, I still write letters to santa (generally emails now) and dad writes me back as santa claus. Every year, I have a hard time coming up with something, but somehow I always manage to come up with something silly or, if I'm lucky, downright hilarious. This year, I don't know if it will happen. Right now if I wrote a letter to Santa, it would go something like this:

Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can help me, but this is what I really and truly want this year:

Please give my daddy a gold medal and a million dollars for being such a trooper this year. He woke up at 5 am on a Saturday, went in to work, left work at 10:00 to go shopping with me for three hours and then went straight back to work until about 5 or 6 pm at which point he went home and immediately fell asleep. He got up early, ended up working late and left work as soon as I called him because he knows how important it is to me to go shopping for my mother's Christmas presents every year. I got my daddy time with no trouble, no objections, and no hidden "work is more important" messages. Seriously, give him a fucking medal.

For my mommy, I want something to make her pain go away, something to make her understand that everything will be okay eventually even if it's frustrating right now, and some way for her to communicate with someone everything that's really going on. She already had to give up dance for the rest of this year (and she only went for a couple of months last year. I know she's a worry wart, and I know that her hip pain and her shoulders and her sleep problems and her newly found diagnosis of osteoperosis have probably caused her to start worrying that she'll have to give up teaching, and volunteering and everything else. I know that she's probably worried that she'll be in pain until she dies and at this point, she's just wondering what the hell else is going to go wrong. She's never told me this, but I inherited my way of thinking from her so I know she's probably keeping this and a few other things from me and everyone else just to spare us all and to keep from breaking down into tears in front of every person she talks to. Mind meld with her or something and figure out what she needs so you can give it to her. It sucks to see her sad and frustrated all the time and not be able to do anything about it.

For my husband and I, we just want to not lose a job or have to move or have something else screw up our plan of getting a house, which have been trying to do since right after we got married. The dog needs a yard to run in, I need a space to dance in, and we all need a place where all of our things don't either sit in boxes or get boxed up every 2-10 months.

I know this is a lot to ask but I really need your help. And, yes I really do believe in you even though I'm 30 years old. I know god isn't real, so I have to have something to hold on to.


--Hillary


...yeah.
I don't think that's exactly the message that I should send mommy and daddy on Christmas

No comments: