crazy but good

This week has been a little hectic. Chris had 3 migraines in the 5 days immediately after we got here, but now he has had 2.5 migraine free days in a row and he seems to be doing well. On the day after Christmas the dog decided to get so sick he couldn't keep down water. We rushed him to the vet and luckily the vet seemed to think he was healthy and probably just got overexcited due to the changes in scenery and diet. She gave us a little tummy medicine for him and he was better the next morning.
Despite all the insanity, we managed to get through christmas eve dinner, christmas breakfast, opening presents, seeing my family and seeing most of our friends. We got a great haul this year because our parents (especially his mom) spoiled us entirely too much. I can't possibly remember everything we got, but here are a few of the more notable things:
Tons of restaurant gift cards from my aunt
a nice blender from my aunt
a new George foreman grill from mother in law
Lots of kitchen things (pans, measures, etc.) from various sources (mostly my mother in law)
and umm... tons of other crap that I'm too lazy to go in the front room and look at.

I made it--there was a santa letter this year.

There was indeed a non-depressing, non-pessimistic santa letter this year. It's not as classic as last years, but it wasn't bad, and it gave dear old santa enough to work with.

My letter to Santa:
Dear Santa,
This year i need magic wands for the following things:
1. to make edgar allen poe appear so that i can always have someone to
help me say what i want to express. Writing this letter has been darn
near impossible, but I thought you would worry about me if i didn't
write a letter.
2. to make anyone below the age of 6 fall asleep instantly so that i
can finally get kids down for nap without gaining anymore grey hairs
3. to make allergies go away so my husband doesn't have to snore and
wake me up in the middle of the night. And maybe because I don't want
his throat to hurt all the time either.
4. To make the dog stay away from my hot dogs by giving him a little
magical shock if he ever goes near them again.
I also would like a nifty robot that takes the dog outside when it is
cold or rainy.
Give my husband and family anything they want. They have been better
than angels this year.
I hope your year is wonderful. I'll leave a gift certificate for a
massage next to your cookies this year. All that work has got to
leave a man stressed out.
--Hillary

Santa's Reply to me:
Hello Hillary and a Merry 2007 Christmas

I can understand needin some help with writing stuff, Lord knows I have a
problem with that also.
One of the elves thot that it would be a good idea to write an autobiography
but it went something like this.
First year on the job, get elve crews organized and make every toy
imaginable, get raindeer in training for the big one day trip, work like
crazy until Dec. 23. Work realy crazy on Dec 24. Take a loooong trip in a
sled packed with a lot of toys and stuff and make sure all the right stuff
gets to all the rite houses.
Get full of good cookies, hot chocolate and ohter goodies.
Go home and rest for 4 to 6 months.
Find out where all the elves went.
Get all elves back from Florida, Hawaii and Southern Califronia. Seems
packages weren't the only things getting off the sled during my trip to
deliver the presents.
Then repeat every year since then. NOT much of the makings of a book or a
poem !

But might be interestin to write about all the neat technolgy that we've
seen -- and the elves they now are real good usin the technology to findin
new "vacation" spots via the internet --
And using the blackberry to text message and write e-mails as the reindeer
and I are travelling from town to town.

and funny that Poe guy was one of ur dad's favrite authors - Before we
conjur his literary spirut there's some things you might want to know about
the other stuff he did beside writin. As I remember, ur dad was not all
that good with histry but I bet he remembers some of the things that Poe
did. I heard a story that Poe could jump farther than my lead reindeer !

As far as gettin kids to take a nap without causin more gray hair - look at
me , mine's white now ! Seems like it only took a year or so for that to
happen after I took this job --
Word is ur dad was one of the wurst for not sleepin and not lettin people
sleep when he was little so don't bother to ask HIM for advice on that one.

Allergies are not fun and I truly hope ur husband's can get better so he can
feel better and everyone can get some sleep.
I've got some elves that have reindeer allergies and some that say they are
allergic to snow (!) --- and that's the reason why they stow away and jump
out of the sled in Florida, Hawaii and Southern CA.

As far as the hot dogs go my dogs have informed me that the rules in the dog
world are:

If it gets close to the floor it could be mine - if I'm fast enough meaning
faster than anyone else around.
If it gets to the floor it's like a fumble in a football game - whoever gets
there first gets to try to keep it. The best way to keep it is to eat it
quickly. Gulping whole hot dogs is allowed and even preferred in these
situations.
If I get it I can try to keep it using other means including running and
hiding it somewhere -- in an obscure place where you might find it a few
months later when it looks like a biology experiment gone wrong.

To help on the hot dog avoidance training of ur really nice dog I do have
one elf that is quicker than greased ligtning taht I can loan you for a few
months.
This elf is so fast that our dogs don't even try any more. He'll probably
work pretty cheap just to get out of this cold weather for a few months.
Just a warning tho - he has a real soft spot for some kind of dog called a
labradoodle dog.

As far as something for taking the dog outside start watchin them late night
commercials on TV.

The elves have informed me that they know how to use the surplus of the
robot lawn mowers and vacuums to turn them into a totally different product
that may sweep the market soon(or so they think) AND it sounds like just
what your lookin for -so maybe there is a market after all.
The elves tell me that the basic model will walk the dog for you, the delux
model will walk the dog and clean up his mess. Optional accessories will
include things like GPS tracking via the internet so yu can tell the
location of the robot and your dog.

I'll do the best I can for all the saints out there this year !!!

The cookies sound good and I'm not really sure about this massage thing -
Usually Mrs. Claus and several of the reindeer walk up down my back after
the long trip and it seems to put me bak into shape quikly - that and a
couple of nips from the bottle that a guy up in Tennessee leaves for me
every year and I'm ready to go again !

Santa

Merry Christmas!

Hope you have a wonderful day.
*pixie dust*

i don't know if there will be a santa letter this year

As some of you may already know from last year's Christmas blog post, I still write letters to santa (generally emails now) and dad writes me back as santa claus. Every year, I have a hard time coming up with something, but somehow I always manage to come up with something silly or, if I'm lucky, downright hilarious. This year, I don't know if it will happen. Right now if I wrote a letter to Santa, it would go something like this:

Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can help me, but this is what I really and truly want this year:

Please give my daddy a gold medal and a million dollars for being such a trooper this year. He woke up at 5 am on a Saturday, went in to work, left work at 10:00 to go shopping with me for three hours and then went straight back to work until about 5 or 6 pm at which point he went home and immediately fell asleep. He got up early, ended up working late and left work as soon as I called him because he knows how important it is to me to go shopping for my mother's Christmas presents every year. I got my daddy time with no trouble, no objections, and no hidden "work is more important" messages. Seriously, give him a fucking medal.

For my mommy, I want something to make her pain go away, something to make her understand that everything will be okay eventually even if it's frustrating right now, and some way for her to communicate with someone everything that's really going on. She already had to give up dance for the rest of this year (and she only went for a couple of months last year. I know she's a worry wart, and I know that her hip pain and her shoulders and her sleep problems and her newly found diagnosis of osteoperosis have probably caused her to start worrying that she'll have to give up teaching, and volunteering and everything else. I know that she's probably worried that she'll be in pain until she dies and at this point, she's just wondering what the hell else is going to go wrong. She's never told me this, but I inherited my way of thinking from her so I know she's probably keeping this and a few other things from me and everyone else just to spare us all and to keep from breaking down into tears in front of every person she talks to. Mind meld with her or something and figure out what she needs so you can give it to her. It sucks to see her sad and frustrated all the time and not be able to do anything about it.

For my husband and I, we just want to not lose a job or have to move or have something else screw up our plan of getting a house, which have been trying to do since right after we got married. The dog needs a yard to run in, I need a space to dance in, and we all need a place where all of our things don't either sit in boxes or get boxed up every 2-10 months.

I know this is a lot to ask but I really need your help. And, yes I really do believe in you even though I'm 30 years old. I know god isn't real, so I have to have something to hold on to.


--Hillary

...yeah.
I don't think that's exactly the message that I should send mommy and daddy on Christmas

Unbelievable conversation at work:

Cast of characters:
me - duh
Ramona- Coworker in the infant room. She's been there since before I have and we used to close together every day for a couple of months.
Lindsey- new coworker who's been there about six weeks. She teaches music and usually works with the threes and fours but is occasionally seen in just about every room in the center.

me: Hi Ramona, I got your candles in the gift drawing. thank you. Hi (i turn and wave at Lindsey)
Ramona: You're welcome
Lindsey: Hillary you are so sweet.
Me: Lindsey, You have the prettiest smile I've ever seen.
Lindsey: Let's leave our husbands and run away together. We can live in Idaho where you can spend all day dancing in the park and then I can sing you to sleep every night.
Me: I'll pack tonight.


...Okay so, that was how the conversation went somewhere in the multiverse.
Maybe in this dimension it went something more like:

me: Hi Ramona, I got your candles in the gift drawing. thank you. Hi (i turn and wave at Lindsey)
Ramona: What a coincidence! I got the ornament you brought! Wow!
Me: Oh wow. yeah.
Ramona: Do the candles smell pretty?
Me: Oh yeah, thank you! Well, I'll see you guys tomorrow. Have a good night.
Ramona: O.K. bye
Lindsey: Bye

What America Needs is a Grinch

We've all seen or heard "How the Grinch stole Christmas" by Dr. Seuss. The Grinch gets mad at the who's and takes away their stuff and then learns the real meaning of Christmas when the who's gather together and sing and are happy regardless of their lack of stuff.
We need a Grinch. Christmas has become about rioting and shoving people out of the way to get the newest toy for your kid or yourself. If there was no stuff to shove someone over, maybe we could remember why it is that Christmas is so cool. For some, it's a baby in a manger, for others its an epic battle and for others, it's time spent with family.

Christmas is not about the presents. Maybe someone should steal all our shit and we'll remember that. But more likely we'd all grab the nearest blunt object and some torches and go find the bastard and hang him from the nearest tree by his genitals and then fight over the re-distribution of stuff. *sigh*

I'm not sure why it is that people get so obsessed with "MY KID has to have the best toys" or "MY HUSBAND has to have the expensive digital whooziemawhatzit that he'll never learn how to use anyways." Gifts are about giving something that shows that you thought about the person and that you cared enough to try to get them something good. This year if someone handed me the expensive shoes I asked for and said, "I had to beat up three old ladies to get these, but they're yours", I would be highly disappointed and would probably try to find an old lady to give them to. (although if it's an imac, all bets are off. sorry, old ladies ;) ) If you got me a gift that involved hurting someone else, you weren't thinking of me when you got it. If you get someone a gift at all costs, it's not really a good gift (unless they're a pushy asshole who would have done the same thing themselves). A good gift involves the spirit of the giving as much as it does the actual object.

I guess this is what Christmas comes down to for me is the "spirit" (not in a religious sense). I guess that it's just not about that for everyone, but I wish one Christmas something would happen so that we could all give that a try just once. Next year people could go back to beating up children to get to popular toys if they wanted, but I am willing to bet that at least a few people would remember the year before and opt for cheerful giving and spending time with others.

so... welcome brandy, i guess.

Last weekend Chris and I hung out with our friends Adam and Brandy. It was fun. This post is not about the fun. My posts are never about the fun ;). Anyways, the subject of blogs came up and Adam tried to explain my blog to Brandy. First he made a big awkard face and then said "um" when asked what I usually wrote about. He said something about it generally being when I was pissed off and that the blog was entertaining. His facial expression leads me to believe that Brandy's head is going to explode when she starts reading my blog, but I hate it when my friends don't know the real me. And reading the archives and posts here is about the best way for anyone to know what i'm really all about behind the butterflies and pink santa hats. So, um, welcome brandy, and I hope you don't disown me after this.

this weekend i found out i liked...

to follow suit with
Richard's blog entry:
This weekend I found out that I like
Gingerbread bagels from Panera and the name "Lyra".
We went to Panera with Adam and brandy before going to see a sneak preview of "The Golden Compass". The main character's name in "compass" is "Lyra".
Yep. That's all.