What I really think of the new dog....

He's amazing. He's brilliant. I love him. I couldn't have asked for a better dog.

BUT

Having a dog is like having a baby. I wake up earlier than I used to, do less things for myself, can't wear nice clothes because they'll just get messed up one way or another, have to think of him before I think of myself. Which leads me to why I am having such a hard time adjust to the new dog.

Having a dog pushes me to places I don't like to be for various reasons. I don't like putting someone/something before me. Not because I'm a selfish whore, but because that's something everyone keeps telling me not to do because my Modus operandi is to allow people to use me up and then ask for more. So now, after years of work on recognizing that I am important, I have to take care of the dog, sometimes at the exclusion of my own needs.

The other place that having a dog pushes me to that I hate is having to be the alpha dog. Let's face it, I am the alpha-nothing. I may not be a complete doormat anymore, but I don't like having to overextend myself to be something I'm not. I am not dominant, I am not authoritative and I do not naturally command respect. Furthermore, if I try to be those things, people (And dogs) still react to me as if I have "Welcome" stamped on my forehead because I still come across as a marshmallow. So essentially, I'm working really hard to do something and failing miserably and it's thrown in my face every time I work with the dog, and especially when I get advice from people on what to do with the dog.

So anyways, in conclusion:

Dog good. Raising a dog? fucking difficult.