Last year, I couldn't come up with a good Santa letter, so I wrote one about what I was really feeling and it helped me get my thoughts straight enough to do a good letter to Santa. This year, I haven't been focused enough to come up with anything, so I'm going to do the same thing and see if it helps.
Santa,
I don't know how you did it, but you read my mind last year. I asked you for help walking my dog and getting my former students down for a nap, but what I really wanted was for mom to feel better, for my husband and I to have stable jobs and stable housing, and for my Dad to realize how important our silly shopping trip at the end of the year is. I got it all. Thank you.
This year what I want is to be able to do my job well. I want people to understand that I can't do a lot of things, but I'm willing to do anything I can to help you -- whoever you are. I would give almost anything not to make dumb mistakes that cause problems at work. Santa, I have to find a way to stay there-- It's where my heart is.
I also want to be better dog mommy. Most of the time, I just wish that annoying ball of fur would take care of himself or run away to magicdoggieland or something... but he doesn't deserve a mommy who thinks like that.
I want to be a better wife. I bitch about things that are unimportant and say nothing about the things that are. Sometimes, I like conflict for the sake of conflict. My husband doesn't deserve that.
I want SOMEONE to understand that there are some things I am not wired to do-- like error free data entry or remembering to turn of the ligths and lock the doors all the time every time.
I want to not feel like throwing things and hurting people during holiday meals and other gatherings. It seems like no matter what I do, and how I try to scale back, someone ends up getting yelled at. My family and friends don't deserve to be spoken to hurtfully and I don't deserve the stress that leads up to it.
I want to lose my 15 pounds back. Preferably without going back to weight watcher's. Just help me remember what I did then and maybe it will work again.
I also want to stop calling myself a fatso every time i look in the mirror. In fact, can I please just once see a beautiful person... not someone who is too fat or too skinny or who's hair is the wrong length... just plain ol me. In fact, I don't even have to be amazed, I just want to see the real me.... not a different me every day.
And santa, thank you for all the fun I've had this year. I have a unique and amazing job, a husband who's occasionally good at something, lots of good close friends who I don't have to hide from, great dance classes, lots of good food, and tons of amazing opportunities. Thank you.
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