musings on random things

i keep debating. Some part of me wants to go back to birmingham because of certain familiarities: I would get michelle my dance teacher, back, I would get Jen, my pilates teacher, back, I would be near family, I would get to shop in downtown homewood again, I would get to see leap of faith again, My friends would be able to make excuses for not coming over to my face again ;), and the big one: I have two kids growing up without me. Keep in mind, I have no children and will never have children and don't want children. But verm's kids are kind of like a neice and a nephew to me, so it feels funky to know that if we do what I'm planning on doing (staying the fuck away from the south for the rest of my life), Those kids will pretty much never see me again. Which means, the baby won't even know who I am. This of course, doesn't really matter from the standpoint of the baby or the baby's family because it's not like the kid will be like "i miss auntie voo" because the last time 'auntie voo' was around was when he was 10 months old. Verm's daughter, caitlyn is kind of different because we've known each other for years now, but she's resilient and she manages fine without me now, so it's not like it's a huge deal for her never to see me.
It's funny how I kind of say "friends? well, sure i'd like to see them, but they live elsewhere, so screw it" but then get all teary eyed at kids who could care less. Of course, friends are different because they're all our age, so they have the ability to move somewhere that doesn't suck. The kiddos don't. Not that they would choose to if they had a choice, but I think the fact that our friends choose where they live affects my perspective. Not to mention, I think I always have delusions of grandeur about what I can offer kids and how important I am in their lives... whereas with my friends, the focus is on what they can offer me moreso than the other way around... And if they can't offer me a place to live that doesn't suck the life out of me, then... bleh I'll guess I'll see them another time ;)

In other news, I am currently over my "fuck working" phase. I guess I just kind of realized that everything wasn't as horrible as it felt as far as the moving situation goes. The other thing I realized is how important the work I do is. I taught someone what is possibly going to be one of the more important things in their life last thursday. I taught a client how to walk from their dwelling to a park that is a 7 minute walk away. It seems so simple, but this could be absolutely huge for someone who doesn't get out unless someone takes them out. There goes the sense of overimportance again ;) Eh, how could I do the work I do if I didn't think I was good?

Also in other news, I have been on weight watchers for 8 weeks and have lost 13-15 punds in that time. YAY!

Also Also in other news, how the hell do you promote a website and actually get sales off of it? I have re-vamped my site, etc. and it looks sharp as all hell and i've updated my pricing, materials, etc. but no bites so far even though i'm using ad strategies that worked for other people with similar businesses...

Also in other Also news I should go also to bed also.