vacation

yes, I'm blogging on vacation, and yes, I am that lame. The whole vacation keeps bringing up those nasty mixed feelings on moving. Everywhere I go and in everything I do, I'm reminded of Reasons why I don't like it here: from the smoke in restaurants to the humidity in the air to the rediculously low temperature of air conditioning in EVERY GODDAMN BUILDING, it all makes me whine and cringe. Yes, I realize that some of this feeling may be due to my attitude coming into the whole thing, but I'm really trying to keep an open mind and find reasons to want to be back here (because I'm going to be back here soon, damnit). The whole mixed feelings issue is bad enough that I'm sitting on the fringes not saying anything to our friends not because I'm shy and never say anything (because that's much less true than it was a year ago), but because I don't want to start an arugment or sound like a drag (being an overreactionary bitch is another thing, however). So the feelings are strong enough that I just can't even talk to friends in any sort of coherent manner. HOWEVER, yesterday after spending a whole day with friends feeling like somewhat of an outsider and saying almost nothing because I didn't want to drag the group down, I woke up this morning and the first thing i felt was sad because i realized that the friends I saw yesterday were in birmingham and I was in huntsville. That makes a pretty strong statement about the whole "being in another city halfway across the country" (whether it's sandpoint, reno, or timbuktu) issue. That's all I really have to say on that issue right now. I'm honestly not sure where that perspective leads, but the trip has definitely given me another perspective.

Other notes on vacation are that I went shopping at a thrift store, bought some beads, am reading a romance novel (i love a good mindless story now and again), and ate so much sugary food that I should be in a coma right now. I'm not in a coma, but I am asking why the hell I did that. Aside from blowing my diet to hell, I am struggling with trying to figure out whether I'm hungry or full or what because of what a large amount of sweets after eating reduced amount of sweets for months does to my blood sugar. Sugar is good, but a huge ice cream sundae and cake all in one day is something else. OTher than that, I have been hanging out with my parents a lot, eating out al ot, and biting everyone's fucking head off (that seems to be my MO these days).

On another note altogether, my co-workers are all snide, cynical and snarky (in a good way) and pick on each other constantly. The last few weeks they've been making comments that I'm starting to fit in because I am snarky right back and apprently they seem to think I'm a little bit witty. I've always been sharp and fiery but I've never been good at quick wit and i've never been good at figuring out what's appropriate as far as snarkiness at work, so I just haven't been saying anything. Anyways, One of my co-workers says her favorite recent example is when she said something about being as innocent as the day is long and I said "The days just got a hell of a lot shorter". I think something I said today tops that one by about a mile especially given that my husband looked a little bit genuinely shocked that I said it. Chris was playing around when we were driving home from lunch and started saying that we should follow a funeral procession so that we could go to the "party" after the burial. His mother corrected him saying that it was usually called a "wake" or an "after funeral gathering". Chris replied "well, when *I* die people are oging to have a party" and I said "You're damn straight we are" in my best 'snarky exasperated wife' voice and the look on his face was priceless. My co-workers would be proud, but they didn't hear it because I'M ON MOTHERFUCKING VACATION BEEOTCH!