dog shelters...

Wow, a dog shelter is one of the most emotionally conflictual places I've ever been. We went to two shelters this weekend to check out what we had and it was gutwrenching for me. I wanted all the poor babies to have a good home but at the same time had to try to find the right dog for me. I felt like a horrible person for having my own ideas about what kind of dog I wanted, how it should look, how it should behave, etc. I felt awful for leaving the dogs in the shelter and I'm now deathly afraid that a very sweet dog is going to be put down. So far, none of the shelters have quite had what we're looking for, but we found a dog that we thought was at least worth spending a little time with in the yard. He was very sweet and very mild mannered and very much not what we were looking for. He wasn't playful or energetic and he hadn't the slightest clue how to be walked on a leash, what "sit" meant despite being 4 years old. He didn't care if we clapped and grinned at him and called his name. He was more interested in doing his own thing unless he wanted attention, at which point, he would come up and put his feet on my leg so that I would pet him. It was almost like he was a loner or something--he pretty much ignored us unless it suited his needs to be petted.
Depsite not being the dog for us, he was a doll. This is not a no-kill shelter. It sounds like they do everything they can and that they only generally put down dogs who are hostile/vicious, but it still worries me that one day we will go back there and buddy will be gone and he won't have gone to a good home. I don't want this dog but yet I feel like a bitch for not taking him home. The shelter staff didn't help because they tried to convince us that he would warm up to us, etc., which made me feel horribly guilty. He is just not the dog for us, but I pray to go someone goes to pick him up.

We're going shelter hopping next week, and we'll see how I fare, but I can promise you I am not doing this on a regular basis. It hurts too much.