the NIA awakening and other ramblings

NIA, or neuromuscular integrative action, is a fitness/health class that integrates 3 martial arts, 3 dance arts and 3 healing arts (like yoga... not like faith healing). NIA is all about moving for yourself, being in the moment , and being aware of your body sensations.

I have a serious awakening of body sensations when i go to class-- related to the instructor. If you saw her picture, you would probably think that there was nothing wrong with her, but also that nothing really stood out. She's not ugly by any means, but she's not the type of person that makes you go "whoah my god what a hot babe" like heather graham would. Nonetheless I have the same impure thoughts about her that I do heather Graham. Something about that young woman just really draws me to her. I can't help but watch her move and have a few interesting daydreams.

I guess I'm commenting on this because I find it odd that I'm actually so attracted to someone who isn't my type and because I find it odd that I am so completely okay with going to see and speak to someone (with no tripping over myself physically or verbally) every week. Usually if I find someone attractive, I don't compose myself too well. The first major tell tale sign that I was attracted to girls was that there was a girl in a bookstore I worked in when I was in college who had the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen and I could not put a straight setence together to save my life. Yet, I hang around my NIA instructor twice a week and she inspires all kinds of interesting thoughts whether I invite them or not, and i'm completely comfortable with her.

For those of you not familiar with this side of me, yes, I am happily married to my awsome husband, and no, i don't want to cheat, and yes, I consider it cheating if someone who is bisexual and married decides to have a relationship with someone of the same gender. I am just very curious about women. Usually it's on a very base, physical level, and involves daydreams about incredibly hot women, which is also partly why this attraction is so interesting to me. It really makes you wonder how we are who we are sometimes.

Everyone kind of has rules of thumb that apply to them. When someone says "oh, Tom wouldn't do that", it's because his character is such that he generally only does certain things. But there's always exceptions to rules. I generally only like women who I think are incredibly hot, but I am drawn to my NIA teacher; my husband doesn't generally enjoy dancing, but he took a tango lesson with me on valentines last year and loved it; my mother was never into frilly things, but in the last year she has become the consummate girly girl and paints her nails and wears earrings on a regular basis; people who never act out against anyone end up assaulting people. IT's just so curious and so interesting that things are the way they are.

my opinion of the new dog...

... I think this picture of his harness sums it up pretty well:

quiz

i love the quizzes rach posts but i don't usually post them here. but i like this one becuase it's pretty damn accurate:

the Romantic Test finished!

you chose BY - your Enneagram type is FOUR. "I am unique" Romantics have sensitive feelings and are warm and perceptive. How to Get Along with Me Give me plenty of compliments. They mean a lot to me. Be a supportive friend or partner. Help me to learn to love and value myself. Respect me for my special gifts of intuition and vision. Though I don't always want to be cheered up when I'm feeling melancholy, I sometimes like to have someone lighten me up a little. Don't tell me I'm too sensitive or that I'm overreacting! What I Like About Being a Four my ability to find meaning in life and to experience feeling at a deep level my ability to establish warm connections with people admiring what is noble, truthful, and beautiful in life my creativity, intuition, and sense of humor being unique and being seen as unique by others having aesthetic sensibilities being able to easily pick up the feelings of people around me What's Hard About Being a Four experiencing dark moods of emptiness and despair feelings of self-hatred and shame; believing I don't deserve to be loved feeling guilty when I disappoint people feeling hurt or attacked when someone misundertands me expecting too much from myself and life fearing being abandoned obsessing over resentments longing for what I don't have Fours as Children Often have active imaginations: play creatively alone or organize playmates in original game s are very sensitive feel that they don't fit in believe they are missing something that other people have attach themselves to idealized teachers, heroes, artists, etc. become antiauthoritarian or rebellious when criticized or not understood feel lonely or abandoned (perhaps as a result of a death or their parents' divorce) Fours as Parents help their children become who they really are support their children's creativity and originality are good at helping their children get in touch with their feelings are sometimes overly critical or overly protective are usually very good with children if not too self-absorbed Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele The Enneagram Made Easy Discover the 9 Types of People HarperSanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages You liked the test? so please RATE it... but remember! it had only two questions!!! ;-) You are not completely happy with the result?! You chose BY Would you rather have chosen: AY (EIGHT) CY (SIX) BX (NINE) BZ (FIVE)

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 26% on ABC You scored higher than 54% on XYZ

Link: The Quick and Painless ENNEAGRAM Test written by felk on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

dog shelters...

Wow, a dog shelter is one of the most emotionally conflictual places I've ever been. We went to two shelters this weekend to check out what we had and it was gutwrenching for me. I wanted all the poor babies to have a good home but at the same time had to try to find the right dog for me. I felt like a horrible person for having my own ideas about what kind of dog I wanted, how it should look, how it should behave, etc. I felt awful for leaving the dogs in the shelter and I'm now deathly afraid that a very sweet dog is going to be put down. So far, none of the shelters have quite had what we're looking for, but we found a dog that we thought was at least worth spending a little time with in the yard. He was very sweet and very mild mannered and very much not what we were looking for. He wasn't playful or energetic and he hadn't the slightest clue how to be walked on a leash, what "sit" meant despite being 4 years old. He didn't care if we clapped and grinned at him and called his name. He was more interested in doing his own thing unless he wanted attention, at which point, he would come up and put his feet on my leg so that I would pet him. It was almost like he was a loner or something--he pretty much ignored us unless it suited his needs to be petted.
Depsite not being the dog for us, he was a doll. This is not a no-kill shelter. It sounds like they do everything they can and that they only generally put down dogs who are hostile/vicious, but it still worries me that one day we will go back there and buddy will be gone and he won't have gone to a good home. I don't want this dog but yet I feel like a bitch for not taking him home. The shelter staff didn't help because they tried to convince us that he would warm up to us, etc., which made me feel horribly guilty. He is just not the dog for us, but I pray to go someone goes to pick him up.

We're going shelter hopping next week, and we'll see how I fare, but I can promise you I am not doing this on a regular basis. It hurts too much.

Once upon a puppy...

Once upon a puppy there was a puppy who was the most beautiful princess in the puppy. She had a gown with sparkling puppies that was passed down from her puppy-in law who lived in the castle Dracupuppy. The puppy in her puppy dress and puppy puppies and puppy puppy puppy puppy puppy puppy.

So, yeah...
That's kind of what it's been like to talk to my husband the last couple of days.

I think that I am going to have to deal with a puppy in the house. I volunteered to lay at my husband's feet, wake him up in the middle of the night, poop on the floor and chew up his electronic equipment, but he said that wouldn't be the same.

Well, at least I won't be able to say that there is *ever* a dull moment in my life... Ever.

GIVE ME MONEY!

Seriously...
I want to go here.
But I will need about $2000 to do it.
*sigh*

i always do this to myself

when i stay up late and there is no one up with me, I freak out. This is a known fact. For some reason, i still choose to stay up way past the point of being tired when there is no one up to tell me that the evil drawings in the picture can't leap out and get me and that the noise i heard is indeed coming from the speakers on my PC. So, this means that I then get to stay up another hour or whatever while i talk to someone online to help me forget the evil drawing... which is what i'm doing now. I am such a goofball :)