*frustration*

I've made numerous posts about how muc I love it here because of the attitude of the people as a whole, because of my awsome job, and because of the beautiful scenery. But there is one that *almost* makes me want to go back to Birmingham, which is a pretty strong statement considering how much I've come to hate any place below the mason dixon line in the last 7 months. I cannot keep a regular dance schedule to save my life. I know that there are only 7,000 people here, but it should not be this hard. I danced with the one school I really enjoyed but when it came time for the school year, all the classes were at 3 and 4:30 which does not work when you're working a regular workday. So, I started taking NIA classes. I was taking two a week when the tuesday evening one got cancelled. So I called the other dance school in town and started taking a dance classs there on tuesdays and continued NIA on saturdays. Now the dance teacher for the class I just performed with left me a message stating that they already have all their routines set for the rest of the year and won't be doing anything new until september or october. I don't care about routines, I JUST WANT TO DANCE. Blah. Anyways, I'm going to try to do *something*. There's a place here that rents space for like $10 an hour (Although they have carpet) and i know some of the NIA teachers also dance, so I was going to see if any of them would be interested in doing a rotation or something so that we could get a class together. That way even if only teachers show up, we'd all get to take sometimes and teach sometimes.

Debauchery at it's best.

I am not a drunk, do not show my boobs to random strangers in hopes of getting beads, and I'm on wieght watcher's. Which makes it difficult to do much of anything during the mardi gras season. You would also think the fact that I live in a tiny town in northern Idaho would make matters all the worse, but you'd be wrong. Tonight I danced in my underwear on stage with a blowup doll as a part of a show where lots of other people were in their underwear or singing about their underwear or the parts therein. We brought the house down. I had an absolute blast, got some beads without having to show anyone my tits and did not drink any alcohol (not that it wasn't plentiful). After the show it was very cold, so I did what any logical person would do. I proceeded to walk across the street in my underwear with my blow up doll and got asked if i was "looking for a replacement" for the doll. I then proceeded to do the club dance floor thing for an hour and a half straight. By the end of the night I was worn out with a big fucking grin on my face and still prancing around in my underwear. This is what mardi gras sin and debauchery is supposed to be all about--alcohol or no alcohol...

My new career as a burlesque

So I went to a dance class and they said "hey we're gonna do this performance, do you want to join us?...Acutally, why don't you watch the dance a couple of times and see if this is something you can do." So I watched. What I saw could on be described as utterly amazing. There were women in heels dancing around and doing everything but fucking a bunch of male blowup dolls. As I watched all I could think was "uhh... wow." SO the teacher said "What do you think? would you like to join us." So I said "What's the costume for this number?" "Nothing, underwear." "I am so totally in."

I love the idea of parading around in my underwear and doing lewd things to blowup dolls on stage. Considering that I am generally a private person when it comes to lingere and sex, this may seem a little out of character for me.
So why is it that I am so thrilled about getting to practically expose myself to the adult populace of the city? Because I can.

When I used to live in Alabama, I pretty much had to pretend that I didn't have sex, didn't know what it was and neither did anyone else. This is kind of awkward for me, not only because I am pretending that a very natural biological process is something that needs to be hidden and ignored, but because my sexuality is a large part of who I am--probably a larger part than the average person. Pretending that sex doesn't exist is denying a large part of me--it's like walking around with an arm held behind my back pretending that it was chopped off in a mill accident or something just becuase society says having two arms is bad.

In Idaho I can have two arms, and not only that, I can use them for some pretty interesting things without having to worry about who will find out. So this month I will use both arms to zip up some boots, put on some slutty underwear and thrash a blowup doll around stage. How fucking cool.