This lovely post last December talked about the four moods/intentions of Vo0. Right now I am in full on "love me" mode. Talk to me, hug me, pat me on the shoulder, tell me i'm strong and smart even if i don't believe it and for the love of god, don't leave, don't go to bed, and just... don't ever stop.
I have had a lot of personal stress lately. Hubby quit his job a couple of weeks due to it being "asstastic" and him not feeling that being sick with stress every day was worth it, even if we might have to get creative to pay the mortgage. Luckily not much financial creativity was required because he starts a new job tomorrow. Nonetheless, it was draining and I got pretty worn out from those 2 weeks.
Just as I was starting to feel normal again, mom called me and said she was quitting work due to health problems. She had issues about three years ago, and I talked about them right before my santa letter that year. The issues never went all the way away but they got better with the right combination of PT, meds and other medical type stuff. Now they have gotten worse again and the woman who has been a preschool teacher since before I was born is now not one anymore due to chronic health issues. SHIT. ouch.
Seriously, I'm crying now as I type this. sooo not happy. The day i found out, I laid my head on hubby's shoulder about 10 minutes past the point of having neck pain from the way i was laying and really didn't ever want to get up. This weekend I have been... crazy. I want nothing but to connect with people, and be hugged, and talk to people and be around friends and be around hubby and I have been cuddling with hubby all the time and talking to people online almost constantly and it's still not enough. I don't think anything is going to be enough. I can ether go back to blissfully ignoring this, or I can be stressed out for the rest of her life. *sigh*
I could seriously use a kitten pile of friends to nap in right now... I don't care how creepy it sounds to the rest of you, it might actually give me a moment's peace.
