Something happened to me today that has never happened before.
I went into my supervisor's supervisor's office and address some issues with her that I had had with the way she did things. This is never easy for me to do because I hate confrontation and would prefer just to adjust myself to make things work around someone else if possible. In this situation it wasn't a good idea because 1. the issues stem from her reaction to mistakes I can't seem to stop making no matter how hard I try and 2. we function more like a family than your typical workplace since we're so small. We discussed my issues and she really listened and said she would try to watch what she was saying now that she knew how it affects me. We discussed my job and she asked me what I thought about doing some intakes and updates and letting the person who normally does those take on some food appointments. Many days I feel like I am a glorified CSR and data entry clerk. Primarily what i do is get people in the offie, chit chat while I'm filling out forms, get them their stuff and get them out of there. At the end of the day I enter everything I did into the cdomputer system. She knows this and said that she wanted to ask me about doing other types of appointments because she doesn' think that the position wuld be very fulfilling for me. So, let me re-cap. I had a boss offer to change my job duties so that I could be fulfilled in a job. WHAT?! Anywhere else I worked, the conversation would have been about how I need to improve my performance and possible ways I can do that and end in signing a work contract or an improvement plan. More or less "we think you're a nice person and you want to do well, but you're going to have to improve quickly or we're going to tell you not to let the door hit you in the ass on the way out." There would have been no "I think it would be more fulfilling for you to do something else, so I'm going to change your job duties". So, assuming this happens (i have no reason to belive it wont... although it might be a slow process), I think I love my job again ;)
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Sunday, October 5, 2008
the job quandary
Okay well, the job... people ask me how I like it. That's so not an easy question anymore. There are so many days where if someone said one critical thing to me, I probably would tell them to fuck themselves and then walk out. The job can be absolutely brutal. I see people every 15 minutes all day long. This means that if someone takes 20 minutes, I am behind. I usually stay behind or get further behind until someone decides not to show up. If everyone shows up, I'm behind until lunch. If I'm behind enough at lunch, I may not get to eat. If I get behind after lunch, I may not have enough time to enter my case notes into the computer system before closing. If I don't get that done, then I have to stay late and/or come in early. It is strongly preferred that we finish before we leave. Some days, I stay until sun down and then come back at 7:15 am. Some days when I come in at 7:15, I get behind during the day and end up having to stay until 6. I did this three times in the last week.
Since I have 15 minute appts all day, it doesn't take much to upset the rhythm of the day. If the printer jams while I'm trying to print something that a client needs, it can throw me off for half a day. If the database is down for any period of time, it could throw me off for half a day or more. If something in the database isn't working, it could make an appointment longer than usual, and get me behind, which could result in being off for half a day, not eating lunch, staying late, and all those lovely things i just mentioned. If certain things in the database aren't working for a period of days or weeks, it can put you behind on your entry, which means late nights and/or early mornings to get caught up. The other workers do weekends. I refuse because i have a 45 minute drive and that uses lot of gas, which is not cheap these days.
If I were a casual observer reading this blog, I would wonder why the hell this person was even considering staying at this job. It seems obvious that it's a terrible match and that i'll just continue being frustrated for as long as I am there.
Here's the thing. If I express my frustration with the process, people *try* to give me ideas to help me, or to improve the process. Many places would have fired me at this point, due to the fact that I have such a hard time keeping up during the day and that I make a lot of careless mistakes in my data entry that take someone else a lot of time to fix, among other things. It sometimes seems like these guys dont even look at that as an option. If I'm having an issue, they try to calm me down and then give me suggestions for how to fix the issue or how to look at the issue differently. If suggestions don't work, we re-visit the process. I have had 2 schedule changes now due to feedback I've given my co-workers. Other suggestions i've made about case management have been implemented. Even if we don't implement something, we usually at least discuss it in staff meeting. It's not that often that I hear "I don't want to do that, next!" when I bring something up in staffing. On the occasions that I do, If I ask for justification, I get it. They're constantly trying to make the while process better, especially the database and the entering of case notes. In fact, there are some changes afoot that might make my job go a lot faster and easier, and cut out a lot of those late nights and early mornings. Although, I'm not sure when those changes are coming.
In addition to all that, I love the atmosphere. It's a very open, very come as you are environment. Everyone's happy with you as you are, gay, straight, tense, detailed, laid back, whatever; it's all good. They welcome diversity and embrace different strengths. Our executive director draws during committee meetings and has a magnet sculpture she plays with while she's on the phone. Being around her actually gives me hope that I can do something more if I ever want to. I always drew during class and meetings and got called out for it, but I was always paying attention. It's very encouraging to meet someone who has similar affectations and needs to you who's doing well in life.
Most of the week, I was ready to write up my resignation letter at the drop of a hat and was dreading this weekend because we had our big AIDS walk fundraiser and had to be at work saturday and sunday. The week was brutal, but luckily I had a lot of clients not show up friday, So I got caught up pretty well. Saturday turned out not to be a big deal, especially since I showed up an hour later on accident. Today, I had a lot of fun. Yes, I carried tables and set up tents and picked up trash in the lovely alabama heat, but I met someone who likes to bake as much as I do, I went to lunch and got to know some co-workers who I didn't really know that well, I got to meet a lot of adorable dogs, I got to watch my supervisor and some friends do the electric slide, I got to hear live music, and I got to eat a tasy home made raspberry bar, to name a few things. Best of all, I got to do all this as me. There was no pretending to be someone I'm not or trying my ass off to do something I just don't have the affinity for.
On days like today, I wouldn't trade my job for the world, and it seems like they try to keep a steady flow of those types of days going. In addition to fundraiser events, we have client events and staff development days (which are surprisingly good for the "come as you are" factor).
Let's see, what else is good about my job... It's casual. We wear jeans, curse and don't bat an eyelash when someone mentions sex. In fact, a large part of what we do as an agency is related to sex. We have condoms in ample supply and encourage people to take them. We don't pretend that sex doesn't exist.
As you may recall, on of my major objections to working in alabama was the issue of people trying to pretend that sex either didnt exist or was evil. Another one was having to pretend to be someone I'm not. So, in some very fundamental respects, this is the best job I've ever had, and in others, it's the most brutal and most frustrating.
Since I have 15 minute appts all day, it doesn't take much to upset the rhythm of the day. If the printer jams while I'm trying to print something that a client needs, it can throw me off for half a day. If the database is down for any period of time, it could throw me off for half a day or more. If something in the database isn't working, it could make an appointment longer than usual, and get me behind, which could result in being off for half a day, not eating lunch, staying late, and all those lovely things i just mentioned. If certain things in the database aren't working for a period of days or weeks, it can put you behind on your entry, which means late nights and/or early mornings to get caught up. The other workers do weekends. I refuse because i have a 45 minute drive and that uses lot of gas, which is not cheap these days.
If I were a casual observer reading this blog, I would wonder why the hell this person was even considering staying at this job. It seems obvious that it's a terrible match and that i'll just continue being frustrated for as long as I am there.
Here's the thing. If I express my frustration with the process, people *try* to give me ideas to help me, or to improve the process. Many places would have fired me at this point, due to the fact that I have such a hard time keeping up during the day and that I make a lot of careless mistakes in my data entry that take someone else a lot of time to fix, among other things. It sometimes seems like these guys dont even look at that as an option. If I'm having an issue, they try to calm me down and then give me suggestions for how to fix the issue or how to look at the issue differently. If suggestions don't work, we re-visit the process. I have had 2 schedule changes now due to feedback I've given my co-workers. Other suggestions i've made about case management have been implemented. Even if we don't implement something, we usually at least discuss it in staff meeting. It's not that often that I hear "I don't want to do that, next!" when I bring something up in staffing. On the occasions that I do, If I ask for justification, I get it. They're constantly trying to make the while process better, especially the database and the entering of case notes. In fact, there are some changes afoot that might make my job go a lot faster and easier, and cut out a lot of those late nights and early mornings. Although, I'm not sure when those changes are coming.
In addition to all that, I love the atmosphere. It's a very open, very come as you are environment. Everyone's happy with you as you are, gay, straight, tense, detailed, laid back, whatever; it's all good. They welcome diversity and embrace different strengths. Our executive director draws during committee meetings and has a magnet sculpture she plays with while she's on the phone. Being around her actually gives me hope that I can do something more if I ever want to. I always drew during class and meetings and got called out for it, but I was always paying attention. It's very encouraging to meet someone who has similar affectations and needs to you who's doing well in life.
Most of the week, I was ready to write up my resignation letter at the drop of a hat and was dreading this weekend because we had our big AIDS walk fundraiser and had to be at work saturday and sunday. The week was brutal, but luckily I had a lot of clients not show up friday, So I got caught up pretty well. Saturday turned out not to be a big deal, especially since I showed up an hour later on accident. Today, I had a lot of fun. Yes, I carried tables and set up tents and picked up trash in the lovely alabama heat, but I met someone who likes to bake as much as I do, I went to lunch and got to know some co-workers who I didn't really know that well, I got to meet a lot of adorable dogs, I got to watch my supervisor and some friends do the electric slide, I got to hear live music, and I got to eat a tasy home made raspberry bar, to name a few things. Best of all, I got to do all this as me. There was no pretending to be someone I'm not or trying my ass off to do something I just don't have the affinity for.
On days like today, I wouldn't trade my job for the world, and it seems like they try to keep a steady flow of those types of days going. In addition to fundraiser events, we have client events and staff development days (which are surprisingly good for the "come as you are" factor).
Let's see, what else is good about my job... It's casual. We wear jeans, curse and don't bat an eyelash when someone mentions sex. In fact, a large part of what we do as an agency is related to sex. We have condoms in ample supply and encourage people to take them. We don't pretend that sex doesn't exist.
As you may recall, on of my major objections to working in alabama was the issue of people trying to pretend that sex either didnt exist or was evil. Another one was having to pretend to be someone I'm not. So, in some very fundamental respects, this is the best job I've ever had, and in others, it's the most brutal and most frustrating.
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