Once again I find myself having difficulty writing a santa letter because evything i want is ridiculous and depressing. And, once again, I am going to write a Pre-Santa Letter to see if I can get this out of my system:
Dear Santa:
I want to stop being exhausted and disillusioned, I want people to understand what I mean, I want to work somewhere where I am not covered over with enough work for 8 people, I want to stop bitching at family during holidays and I want my friend back. There is one less amazing person in my life and I want that fucking fixed. now.
I want to treat the amazing people left in my life like they are amazing, but I can't seem to do it. Please make me a magic wand or something. Lavender tea is awesome, pie is awesome and presents are awesome but they don't fix this kind of deep seeded sadness and thorough emotional exhaustion. I need a fucking Christmas miracle. Please.
seriously.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Saturday, December 4, 2010
it Christmas!
I simultaneous love and hate this time of year!
It's exciting, the air is filled with the scent of cinnamon and peppermint, there's cheery music, people are nice to each other, there's lots of chocolate to be had, and there's presents!
But, peope are only nice if you don't have the thing they want, cinnamon brooms are nice until they give you an asthma attack, and all the chocolate and presents? who do you think makes and buys all that shit? elves?
So many parties, so many events, so many things to do: it's a little mind-boggling. I almost went fucking postal at work Thursday because i have an ungodly amount of work to do and was somehow supposed to clean my office, eat lunch, and get my work done in a matter of 4 hours (it's literally like 20 hours worth of work) and THEN be cheerful for visitors for 3 hours.
The office was clean enough, i managed a being friendly for three hours, I eventually ate, and the work isn't finished, but I did apparently "storm out" when everyone else was eating lunch. I don't think I stormed out. I think I saw that the one thing I wanted was taken (lunch was furnished that day), couldn't decide on anything else, decided I did't have time to waste being indecisive about lunch, said "i have bigger shit to worry about" and walked out so I could go clean my office which was absolutely filthy and should have been cleaned several days before but wasn't because I had too much work to do.
I love parties, I love seeing friendly people, i love presents and i love peppermint, but I hate all the work that goes into doing those things. I wish there was a balance.
Wheream I going with this?
I don't know. I just know I had a friend who said I don't post on here often enough so, here you go :-P
It's exciting, the air is filled with the scent of cinnamon and peppermint, there's cheery music, people are nice to each other, there's lots of chocolate to be had, and there's presents!
But, peope are only nice if you don't have the thing they want, cinnamon brooms are nice until they give you an asthma attack, and all the chocolate and presents? who do you think makes and buys all that shit? elves?
So many parties, so many events, so many things to do: it's a little mind-boggling. I almost went fucking postal at work Thursday because i have an ungodly amount of work to do and was somehow supposed to clean my office, eat lunch, and get my work done in a matter of 4 hours (it's literally like 20 hours worth of work) and THEN be cheerful for visitors for 3 hours.
The office was clean enough, i managed a being friendly for three hours, I eventually ate, and the work isn't finished, but I did apparently "storm out" when everyone else was eating lunch. I don't think I stormed out. I think I saw that the one thing I wanted was taken (lunch was furnished that day), couldn't decide on anything else, decided I did't have time to waste being indecisive about lunch, said "i have bigger shit to worry about" and walked out so I could go clean my office which was absolutely filthy and should have been cleaned several days before but wasn't because I had too much work to do.
I love parties, I love seeing friendly people, i love presents and i love peppermint, but I hate all the work that goes into doing those things. I wish there was a balance.
Wheream I going with this?
I don't know. I just know I had a friend who said I don't post on here often enough so, here you go :-P
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