If you are a parent, you are responsible for your child... in everything... until they can be independent or you can responsibly find them a safe place to be other than your home...period. No one is perfect, and we all fuck things up, but there are some obvious goddamn things that you should/shouldn't do as a parent (btw, this does not apply to anyone that i know that reads this blog--all of you that i've met are really good parents).
1. If the kid is in public and is screaming or otherwise disrupting others, you should do something about it. It is your job to teach them polite behavior. It is not your job to "deal with" the fact that they hit someone, are screaming, called their grandma a fattie or are otherwise being disrespectful or disruptive by saying "oh, they're just kids." I am a ranting fucking lunatic, but I *knew* by the time i was five exactly how i should behave and what would happen if I didn't. I still know how to behave in public when I want to, but the choice is mine. You're not being mean to your kids by disciplining them, you are giving them a choice. If they don't know that hauling off and smacking someone they are mad at is mean and considered unacceptable, then they can't choose to be acceptable or unacceptable. I *know* how to be acceptable and docile if I choose to, but I also know how to raise holy hell if I feel it is necessary.
2. "Do as I say, not as I do".... UGH UGH UGH. You know, I know this is a hard one sometimes because you may have picked up a bad habit that you don't want the kid to have, but if you do it, they will. The important thing is that, once you pick up the bad habit that you don't want them to have, you need to make a visible effort to quit... many if necessary--as many as it takes until it sticks or you die. Also don't EVER discipline a kid for hitting someone or being mean or being aggressive by smacking them OMG.
3. Don't make selfish choices that put your child's life, emotional state, mental stability or overall chance at life in danger. Seriously, fucking pay attention. Again, we all make mistakes, but shit this major, you should see coming and at least try to prevent it.
You know what, I know that since i do not have any... darling angels of my own that I cannot possibly understand how difficult it is to be a parent or all the shit you're up against, but A. I taught daycare and if crazy ass unstable me can halfway control a kid, most people can do SOMETHING. and B. ...*sigh* I need to shut up.
I don't expect anyone (except myself) to be perfect, but just... TRY--not for me, but for your kids--they didn't ask to be born, so do your best to help them figure all this crazy shit out. Life hurts enough when you understand how it works and you have good influences/examples in your life and you have some sort of structure and reliability... don't make them go through life without these things.
