I'm tired and want to go live in a cave and never come out.
being alone is lonely, being around normal people is boring and being around complicated people is lovely... until they decide to be complicated ...
I always feel lonely, due in part to the fact that I don't have a lot of friends and the ones I do have have their own lives. I don't have a lot of friends, because I'm an ass and I tend to forget people, leave them out of the loop, never call them when they give me their phone number and practically beg me to do so, etc.Or I used to. Now, I either intend to call you until the end of time or I cling like a crazy velcro monkey because I'm to the point in my life where I really want people around me. However, me being me, I can't be happy with normal people who smile blankly and talk about "having case of the Mondays" with no sarcasm. I have to have amazing people with complex emotions who are just as batshit crazy as I am. Happy Complicated and crazy is fine.. it's better than fine... it's fucking amazing. Upset, complicated and crazy... is tiring, especially when you're complicated and crazy and prone to getting upset and so are those around you. Now I just feel like my life is an emotional cluster fuck and I'm tired and just want it to go away.
Add To this other normal things like dogs eating unidentified objects off the floor that might be chocolate and you get... A crazy woman typing a blogpost at almost midnight on a worknight because she has nothing else to do while she waits for the dog's head to explode.
I am complicated enough without adding anything to it. Add a husband friends and family, and it becomes a beautiful disaster of proportions unknown to man. Add to that the responsibility for another life?
Wait, why would anyone add "responsibility for keeping something alive" to "natural disaster of a human being?" I don't know. I am not fit to be responsible for myself much less something else. In fact, this is really tiring. Can I go live in a cave now please? seriously?
