i don't know if there will be a santa letter this year

As some of you may already know from last year's Christmas blog post, I still write letters to santa (generally emails now) and dad writes me back as santa claus. Every year, I have a hard time coming up with something, but somehow I always manage to come up with something silly or, if I'm lucky, downright hilarious. This year, I don't know if it will happen. Right now if I wrote a letter to Santa, it would go something like this:

Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can help me, but this is what I really and truly want this year:

Please give my daddy a gold medal and a million dollars for being such a trooper this year. He woke up at 5 am on a Saturday, went in to work, left work at 10:00 to go shopping with me for three hours and then went straight back to work until about 5 or 6 pm at which point he went home and immediately fell asleep. He got up early, ended up working late and left work as soon as I called him because he knows how important it is to me to go shopping for my mother's Christmas presents every year. I got my daddy time with no trouble, no objections, and no hidden "work is more important" messages. Seriously, give him a fucking medal.

For my mommy, I want something to make her pain go away, something to make her understand that everything will be okay eventually even if it's frustrating right now, and some way for her to communicate with someone everything that's really going on. She already had to give up dance for the rest of this year (and she only went for a couple of months last year. I know she's a worry wart, and I know that her hip pain and her shoulders and her sleep problems and her newly found diagnosis of osteoperosis have probably caused her to start worrying that she'll have to give up teaching, and volunteering and everything else. I know that she's probably worried that she'll be in pain until she dies and at this point, she's just wondering what the hell else is going to go wrong. She's never told me this, but I inherited my way of thinking from her so I know she's probably keeping this and a few other things from me and everyone else just to spare us all and to keep from breaking down into tears in front of every person she talks to. Mind meld with her or something and figure out what she needs so you can give it to her. It sucks to see her sad and frustrated all the time and not be able to do anything about it.

For my husband and I, we just want to not lose a job or have to move or have something else screw up our plan of getting a house, which have been trying to do since right after we got married. The dog needs a yard to run in, I need a space to dance in, and we all need a place where all of our things don't either sit in boxes or get boxed up every 2-10 months.

I know this is a lot to ask but I really need your help. And, yes I really do believe in you even though I'm 30 years old. I know god isn't real, so I have to have something to hold on to.


--Hillary

...yeah.
I don't think that's exactly the message that I should send mommy and daddy on Christmas

Unbelievable conversation at work:

Cast of characters:
me - duh
Ramona- Coworker in the infant room. She's been there since before I have and we used to close together every day for a couple of months.
Lindsey- new coworker who's been there about six weeks. She teaches music and usually works with the threes and fours but is occasionally seen in just about every room in the center.

me: Hi Ramona, I got your candles in the gift drawing. thank you. Hi (i turn and wave at Lindsey)
Ramona: You're welcome
Lindsey: Hillary you are so sweet.
Me: Lindsey, You have the prettiest smile I've ever seen.
Lindsey: Let's leave our husbands and run away together. We can live in Idaho where you can spend all day dancing in the park and then I can sing you to sleep every night.
Me: I'll pack tonight.


...Okay so, that was how the conversation went somewhere in the multiverse.
Maybe in this dimension it went something more like:

me: Hi Ramona, I got your candles in the gift drawing. thank you. Hi (i turn and wave at Lindsey)
Ramona: What a coincidence! I got the ornament you brought! Wow!
Me: Oh wow. yeah.
Ramona: Do the candles smell pretty?
Me: Oh yeah, thank you! Well, I'll see you guys tomorrow. Have a good night.
Ramona: O.K. bye
Lindsey: Bye

What America Needs is a Grinch

We've all seen or heard "How the Grinch stole Christmas" by Dr. Seuss. The Grinch gets mad at the who's and takes away their stuff and then learns the real meaning of Christmas when the who's gather together and sing and are happy regardless of their lack of stuff.
We need a Grinch. Christmas has become about rioting and shoving people out of the way to get the newest toy for your kid or yourself. If there was no stuff to shove someone over, maybe we could remember why it is that Christmas is so cool. For some, it's a baby in a manger, for others its an epic battle and for others, it's time spent with family.

Christmas is not about the presents. Maybe someone should steal all our shit and we'll remember that. But more likely we'd all grab the nearest blunt object and some torches and go find the bastard and hang him from the nearest tree by his genitals and then fight over the re-distribution of stuff. *sigh*

I'm not sure why it is that people get so obsessed with "MY KID has to have the best toys" or "MY HUSBAND has to have the expensive digital whooziemawhatzit that he'll never learn how to use anyways." Gifts are about giving something that shows that you thought about the person and that you cared enough to try to get them something good. This year if someone handed me the expensive shoes I asked for and said, "I had to beat up three old ladies to get these, but they're yours", I would be highly disappointed and would probably try to find an old lady to give them to. (although if it's an imac, all bets are off. sorry, old ladies ;) ) If you got me a gift that involved hurting someone else, you weren't thinking of me when you got it. If you get someone a gift at all costs, it's not really a good gift (unless they're a pushy asshole who would have done the same thing themselves). A good gift involves the spirit of the giving as much as it does the actual object.

I guess this is what Christmas comes down to for me is the "spirit" (not in a religious sense). I guess that it's just not about that for everyone, but I wish one Christmas something would happen so that we could all give that a try just once. Next year people could go back to beating up children to get to popular toys if they wanted, but I am willing to bet that at least a few people would remember the year before and opt for cheerful giving and spending time with others.

so... welcome brandy, i guess.

Last weekend Chris and I hung out with our friends Adam and Brandy. It was fun. This post is not about the fun. My posts are never about the fun ;). Anyways, the subject of blogs came up and Adam tried to explain my blog to Brandy. First he made a big awkard face and then said "um" when asked what I usually wrote about. He said something about it generally being when I was pissed off and that the blog was entertaining. His facial expression leads me to believe that Brandy's head is going to explode when she starts reading my blog, but I hate it when my friends don't know the real me. And reading the archives and posts here is about the best way for anyone to know what i'm really all about behind the butterflies and pink santa hats. So, um, welcome brandy, and I hope you don't disown me after this.

this weekend i found out i liked...

to follow suit with
Richard's blog entry:
This weekend I found out that I like
Gingerbread bagels from Panera and the name "Lyra".
We went to Panera with Adam and brandy before going to see a sneak preview of "The Golden Compass". The main character's name in "compass" is "Lyra".
Yep. That's all.