awsomeness

Okay, I said I wouldn't post alot of random links and I generally don't, but this rocks
http://www.pathguy.com/TimeDead.htm

Dogs, Dogs everywhere...

Everyone in this town has a dog and most of them don't use leashes. It's odd to see a town full of people with dogs walking in front of them. Another frequent odd sight is neighbor dogs hanging out in your yard and walking across the street unhindered by a chain or fence. Most of the people here don't just have dogs, they have BIG dogs. They're not only walking around the neighborhood and in places you would expect to see dogs like parks and walking trails, but lots of people bring their dogs to work. I expect to see the occasional pet in a small, locally owned shop (which is pretty much every shop in town), but I'm more used to seeing cats. Today I went to an assisted living home and the director had her LARGE dog in her office with no leash or other hindering device. The person in the office next to her also had her LARGE dog there at work. This kind of makes sense because a lot of the residents there have their own dogs. But what took the cake today is that someone had their dog in walmart. Mind you, this was a small dog that stayed in the customers' arms and a family of at least three people who was keeping him at bay. Still... A dog in walmart?

Dreams really suck sometimes

I had a dream last night that my mother was going to die within a day and that once she died, the guy I was involved with was going to leave me for another girl. I hate having dreams like this because I wake up and all I want to do is stay in my pajamas and eat comfort food. Anyways, I'll feel better when I get on with my day. I should get ready for work now.

Why do new things always leave me conflicted?

I got a new job and I started Friday. This is really cool. I hated leaving my old job and I am a bitch if I don't have work during the day. I have been miserable and whiney for the last month because I didn't have a job. Now that I have one, I am freaking out because I'm the new girl. I never think that I am worthy of the credit that people give me. My boss doesn't seem worried that he is giving me four difficult cases of adults with diagnoses I have never worked with before. It should tell me something that other people have confidence in me. Somehow it usually fails to do anything but inspire dread and perfectionism. The sad things is that what usually messes me up the most is the fear of messing up. The boss has stated more than once that the people they have working at this place are awesome and somehow they think I fit in to this. One of these days I will learn that I really am not the worst social worker on the face of the planet...
...Probably right before I increase the number of hours in a day.

What do you do when you miss someone and can't get in touch with them?

...You whine about it in your blog. I have so many friends who I am no longer in contact with, many due to my own negligence. This is really stupid, but it seems to be the one mistake I can't learn from. I had lots of friends in high school. I talk to none of them anymore. I kept in touch with a couple for a few years after high school and then decided that I had "outgrown" them.

Then I have others who I would see now and again, get their contact info, and forget to call them for months which turned into years by which point I had lost thier contact info. I miss every last one of them. There are some that I really think "wow, they would totally fit in with the crowd I hang out with now." Some totally wouldn't, but who says all of my friends have to hang out together.

In college I made a geniune attempt to keep in touch with one of my friends, and we did for a while. But then she changed emails and I moved out of the house I was in all at once. She promised to send me snail mail, but I don't know if she did because the person who lived in that house didn't forward all of my mail to me (asshole).

More recently as I changed jobs, etc. I have had opportunities to keept in contact with people. I have even made the effort to make sure to exchange contact information, but I never call them. I always say I'm going to, and I always mean it when I say it. However, when I think about calling them it's the middle of the day when we're both at work and then I forget about it for a couple of weeks. I repeat this sad process until somehow a year has passed and I'm not even sure if the person would remmeber who the hell I was anymore.

Now, we come to another test of my abilities. I have just moved a four days drive away from the whole fucking world, or so it would seem. So far, I have been okay about emailing, im'ing and calling old acquaintances. Maybe this time I can make it stick a little.

To all of you out there who think they've been forgotten by me or who may end up thinking that in the near future: Just know that I remember every last one of you and I miss you all. If only you could see this blog *sigh*.